{"id":2390,"date":"2012-04-10T14:39:16","date_gmt":"2012-04-10T21:39:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=2390"},"modified":"2012-04-10T14:55:05","modified_gmt":"2012-04-10T21:55:05","slug":"domestic-psychosis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/domestic-psychosis\/","title":{"rendered":"Domestic Psychosis"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/No-Idea.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2391\" title=\"No Idea\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/No-Idea.jpg?resize=355%2C200\" alt=\"\" width=\"355\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/No-Idea.jpg?w=355&amp;ssl=1 355w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/No-Idea.jpg?resize=300%2C169&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 355px) 100vw, 355px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>I\u2019ve clearly lost my mind.<\/p>\n<p>In my infinite wisdom, I decided it would be a great idea to eat healthier and exercise to get back in shape. (After devouring several chocolate bunnies, of course.)<\/p>\n<p>No matter that every weekday is a rush to get to work, pick up the boys at the end of the day and get home before we all collapse in an epic hunger-induced meltdown. I will prepare homemade meals. They are better for you.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>But what to cook? My culinary track record is less than stellar. (Given my tendency to blow things up.)<\/p>\n<p>I know! I will use the crockpot to create chicken tacos. I will prepare the delicious gourmet dinner in the evening. I will pile it into the crockpot the next morning and it will be ready when we arrive home. (Also, I have it on good advice that it is very difficult to set crockpots on fire.)<\/p>\n<p>This translated into setting a packet of taco seasoning and jar of salsa in front of the crockpot, which I\u2019d pulled down from the cupboard where it typically lives \u2013 right next to the fire extinguisher. I left Jon a note on the fridge, \u201cDump seasoning, salsa and chicken in pot at noon.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Only I must have accidentally turned the thing on when I plugged it in. So *that\u2019s* what the burning smell was before bed\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Good news. Crockpots are hard to set on fire. Confirmed.<\/p>\n<p>We had amazing chicken soft tacos for dinner last night \u2013 shredded lettuce, shredded cheese, shredded chicken, and let\u2019s face it, shredded tortillas for the boys. And *I* made them! (I obviously felt the need to proudly share this accomplishment on <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/#!\/TCStream\/status\/189521835866587136\">Twitter<\/a>.)<\/p>\n<p>Two people quickly responded:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cWell there&#8217;s a tweet I never expected to see from you. Well done.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI don&#8217;t even know who you are anymore.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So I feel the need to clarify. *I* did make them. Or assemble them anyway. But I did stab at the slightly overcooked chicken (apparently 6 hours on high is too much) with a fork to shred it. I also assembled taco-like meal plates. I only burned myself. And nothing caught on fire. So really, this is a rousing success. Let\u2019s focus on my initiative here, people.<\/p>\n<p>After the muppets went to bed, I resisted the urge to crawl under my own covers and curl into a little ball of fantastical dreams. Instead I pulled on a t-shirt and running pants. If I\u2019m going to run the Disney half-marathon in September, I might as well put the treadmill to its intended use, rather than its more recent status as toddler jungle gym.<\/p>\n<p>Headphones in, iPad up and music on. Fifteen minutes later I was just starting to get into a good groove.<\/p>\n<p>And then I fell off the treadmill.<\/p>\n<p>Sadly, I am not making this up. Jon sent me a note from work, \u201cGlad you\u2019re ok. Sounds like a blog post!\u201d (Don\u2019t worry, only my pride was a little wounded. But tell me this is not fate\u2019s way of flinging its own winecone.)<\/p>\n<p>So I did what any health expert would advise. I listened to what my body was telling me.<\/p>\n<p>And I had a drink.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve clearly lost my mind. In my infinite wisdom, I decided it would be a great idea to eat healthier and exercise to get back in shape. (After devouring several chocolate bunnies, of course.) No matter that every weekday is &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/domestic-psychosis\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[17,20],"tags":[86,793,792,791],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-Cy","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2103,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-uprising-or-why-i-am-cowering-in-a-corner-suspiciously-eyeing-my-childrens-toys\/","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":0},"title":"The Uprising (or why I am cowering in a corner suspiciously eyeing my children\u2019s toys)","date":"January 5, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"The toys are trying to kill me. I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019ve discovered the source of all the mysterious bruises that keep appearing on my legs. Also, I may have a broken toe. I was sitting alone on my couch this evening, minding my own business, quietly typing away on a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;A Nervous Tic Motion&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/IMG_0678-e1325741710890-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3188,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wordless-wednesday-school-photos-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":1},"title":"Wordless Wednesday: School Photos","date":"March 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Spring photos have arrived. Prepare to die of the cute. \u00a0 \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Baby Photos&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Brothers_Spring-School-Photo_03-27-13-237x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3164,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/body-after-babies\/","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":2},"title":"Body After Babies","date":"March 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The evening rolls around. I have big plans. I will cook a fresh and healthy meal. I will bathe the boys. I will engage in educational interactive play. I will read them a bedtime story. They will fall contentedly asleep. I will then complete a productive cardio and strength-toning workout,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Health&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2696,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/guest-post-husbands-take-note\/","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":3},"title":"Guest Post: Husbands, Take Note","date":"August 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"We\u2019ve got a guest contributor today. Because I\u2019m off cavorting about the Big Apple (see tweet stream for live coverage updates). You may have heard of AuntJ \u2013 she\u2019s oft mentioned round these parts. And these are her thoughts. Chocolate tips welcome. ********** You know those refrigerator magnets poking fun\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Family Stories&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Make-Dinner-300x272.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4283,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/bath-time-bail-out\/","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":4},"title":"Bath Time Bail Out","date":"March 30, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Boys at age 4 are wiggly. This makes some of our routines a bit of a gymnastics exercise. Last night, the muppets splished and splashed their way through bath time. Once the bathroom was thoroughly flooded \u2013 meaning the balance of water was out of the tub rather than in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Home&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Caden_Cool-Dude_03-29-15-200x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":535,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/got-milk\/","url_meta":{"origin":2390,"position":5},"title":"Got Milk?","date":"August 10, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"The muppets take a bottle when they\u2019re hungry. And they are hungry a lot. Destroy\u2019s night nurse in the NICU used to call him \u201cthe alarm clock\u201d because he\u2019d wake up and scream every two hours and 45 minutes without fail. As a friend of mine discovered with his little\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Home&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2390"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2390\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}