{"id":2286,"date":"2012-03-21T08:20:43","date_gmt":"2012-03-21T15:20:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=2286"},"modified":"2012-03-21T08:25:17","modified_gmt":"2012-03-21T15:25:17","slug":"wineconed-wednesday-springtime-for-everyone-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wineconed-wednesday-springtime-for-everyone-edition\/","title":{"rendered":"Wineconed Wednesday \u2013 Springtime for Everyone Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Happy Vernal Equinox! In the Northern Hemisphere winter officially ended at 3:14 a.m. PT yesterday. Spring is here y\u2019all!<\/p>\n

Sunshine and the heat rebounding off the pavement. The smells of wisteria and jasmine floating overhead. Freshly cut grass and the sound of cleats on concrete. Oh yeah. I\u2019ve got spring fever. Bad.<\/p>\n

So of course it\u2019s raining in California. Dear Mother Nature, you\u2019re doing it wrong.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We had a brilliant performance in the preschool parking lot this afternoon. I took my keys (MY keys) away from Search. (I know. It was silly. It was the end of the day and I simply wanted to use the aforementioned keys to drive the mom-mobile home.) He was not pleased.<\/p>\n

“Major Muppet Meltdown: Exorcist Demon Possessed Tantrum in the Preschool Parking Lot.” We’ll be here all week, folks. Well \u2013 unless they tell us we can’t come back. Complete with crocodile tears and flailing muppet arms. Kid clearly has a future in the theatre. (Like mother, like son.) The terrible twos have arrived. Where. Is. My. Wine.<\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

8-hour meetings. A corporate policy banning social chat sites and blogs. Let\u2019s hurry these presentations up. Let my people go!<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s note: I\u2019m pretty sure that\u2019s against the eighth amendment. No outside communication! Cage the animals! That will make them innovative and motivative. (That is totally a word now.) You know what creates creativity? WINE! Also, the powers that me may take not when you start firing communicative winecones at their pointy heads. Just sayin\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

Winecone upon powerful individuals who continue to try and crush the small, weak and defenseless.<\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s note: Well that\u2019s just not nice. You know they say <\/em>the meek shall inherit<\/em><\/a>. \u201c<\/em>You know the book doesn’t lie. It’s not a question of merit. It’s not demand and supply. They say the meek gonna get it. And you’re a meek little guy. You know the meek are gonna get what’s comin’ to ’em. By and by…\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

**********<\/p>\n

City of San Jose and Safeway, this one’s for you. First off – esteemed city leaders, I hate the plastic shopping bag ban. Yeah I get the ecological reasons, but it’s a royal PITA….hate it. Safeway, your turn now. I now need to remember my eco-friendly bags every time I set foot in your store. And, apparently since you aren’t staffing enough baggers, I actually have to bag my own freaking groceries.<\/p>\n

Know what’s amazing? How much stuff you can fit into 3 reusable bags if you have to. And, to what ends you’ll go to so as to not have to buy a $0.10 bag even when spending $200 in groceries. It’s the principle dammit! \u2013 Cubicle Views<\/a><\/p>\n

Editor\u2019s note: Heyyy \u2013 you\u2019re in my neck of the woods. You know what you can seriously stack in those reusable bags? Wine. Although, now that you mention it, I\u2019m really intrigued to see what would happen if you took out a line of the esteemed city leaders with winecones. Do you think the whole of city hall would lift off like Up with the amount of bureaucratic hot air released? I\u2019ll even give you a bagful, free.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Bring on the sexy. Need a little pick-me-up in your day? Check out Elle\u2019s sexy post.<\/a> You\u2019re welcome.<\/p>\n

And a kiss to those who love us completely unconditionally. Our four-legged friends. I am very much looking forward to my dinner date with my yellow dog this week. (And I am not making this up. I actually have one.)<\/p>\n

Hey \u2013 you guys \u2013 all of you who share your winecones. A smackaroo out to all of you, be you anonymous or not. Happy to help soothe your woes. (And get everyone else laughing.)<\/p>\n

Smooches!<\/p>\n

\u2018Till next week, winecones and kisses!<\/p>\n

*Leave your Winecones in the comments or email us at anervousticmotion1@gmail.com<\/a>\u00a0or tricia@streamoftheconscious.com<\/a> and we\u2019ll add yours next week!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Happy Vernal Equinox! In the Northern Hemisphere winter officially ended at 3:14 a.m. PT yesterday. Spring is here y\u2019all! Sunshine and the heat rebounding off the pavement. The smells of wisteria and jasmine floating overhead. Freshly cut grass and the … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[478,658],"tags":[645,584,583],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-AS","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1944,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wineconed-wednesdays\/","url_meta":{"origin":2286,"position":0},"title":"Wineconed Wednesdays","date":"November 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s Wednesday. Today is one of those days where I am really glad Wednesday is Friday. (Sorry to all you international folks. We get to gorge ourselves on turkey and pecan pie tomorrow.) Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. A day to share our thanks for everything we are blessed with in life.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2160,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wineconed-wednesday-wizards-duel-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":2286,"position":1},"title":"Wineconed Wednesday \u2013 Wizards Duel Edition","date":"February 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you reading\u00a0A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there \u2013\u00a0Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in! \u201cMadam, I have not disappeared. I am very tiny. I am a germ. A rare\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/tumblr_lvipyh9Eeo1r1pjhwo1_500-300x295.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2215,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wineconed-wednesday-ash-wednesday-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":2286,"position":2},"title":"Wineconed Wednesday \u2013 Ash Wednesday Edition","date":"February 22, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you reading\u00a0A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there \u2013\u00a0Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in! Ash Wednesday. Also known as that day when you do a double take at all\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Peekaboo-264x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2146,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wineconed-wednesday-grandma-got-run-over-by-a-reindeer\/","url_meta":{"origin":2286,"position":3},"title":"Wineconed Wednesday \u2013 Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer","date":"January 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you reading\u00a0A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there \u2013\u00a0Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in! I know. The holidays are over. (I\u2019m looking at you house on my street that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2314,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wineconed-wednesday-route-66-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":2286,"position":4},"title":"Wineconed Wednesday \u2013 Route 66 Edition","date":"March 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m traveling this week. I\u2019m in Orlando \u2013 home of Walt Disney World and Harry Potter Land. And. I. Will. Not. See. Either. (Work travel \u2013 a whole winecone unto itself.) BLASPHEMY! It\u2019s a work trip. So I have actual work to do here. I tried to convince a colleague\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2114,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wineconed-wednesday-when-you-were-young-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":2286,"position":5},"title":"Wineconed Wednesday \u2013 When You Were Young Edition","date":"January 11, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you reading\u00a0A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there \u2013\u00a0Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in! Sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live \u2013\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Nervous Tic Motion"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2286"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2286"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2286\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2286"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2286"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}