{"id":2206,"date":"2012-02-17T07:20:52","date_gmt":"2012-02-17T15:20:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=2206"},"modified":"2012-02-16T22:44:54","modified_gmt":"2012-02-17T06:44:54","slug":"supermom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/supermom\/","title":{"rendered":"Supermom"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I am, I am, I am Superman<\/em> and I know what’s happening.
\n<\/em>I am, I am, I am Superman<\/em> and I can do anything.<\/em><\/p>\n

I went to lunch with a friend recently. \u201cHoly shit, you\u2019re wearing real clothes!\u201d 90% of the time I see you, you\u2019re in ratty sweatpants with barf\/poo stained t-shirt or sweatshirt,\u201d he exclaimed.<\/p>\n

Well lookitmenow. Apparently I clean up nice. Aren\u2019t you impressed that I can pull off the contrasting stylistic choices of both office wear as well as toddler mom attire? You should be. Last summer, the American Sociological Association<\/a> released a study saying women who attempt to attain the ideal of \u201cSupermom\u201d may be at a greater risk for depression.<\/p>\n

To add insult to injury, Forbes<\/a> jumped on the \u201csucks to be you\u201d bandwagon with an article decrying the early burnout of millennial women. According to the article, young women have spent their entire lives plotting, planning and preparing \u2013 preening and primping our resumes. Pursuing the perfect college, perfect major, perfect extra curricular activities, perfect career, and then perfect family. And suffering nervous breakdowns by age 30.<\/p>\n

Of course, much of the research I conducted for this op-ed (by which of course I mean Wikipedia and a couple other random Google clicks) places me at the tail end of Gen X \u2013 not a Millennial. Sadly, CBS quickly swooped in declaring<\/a>, \u201cexperts say if you’re over 35 or 40, you’re pretty much over the hill. And, if you look at the hiring practices at some of the valley’s hottest Internet and social networking companies, it’s hard to overlook the cold hard reality that age discrimination is prevalent.\u201d<\/p>\n

So it\u2019s pretty much all rainbows and unicorns for me.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the deal. I deal with feelings of inadequacy daily. I dread any potential rejection or being discovered that I\u2019m only playacting as a grownup<\/a>. I regularly ask myself, \u201cWho am I and why am I here?\u201d And I know I\u2019m not the only one.<\/p>\n

Whether I\u2019m put together<\/a> or flashing the preschool parking lot (exhibit A<\/a>, exhibit B<\/a>), I admit \u2013 I\u2019m striving for the perfect balance. I want to be the flawless mother and the ultimate employee. I want to be the well-spoken, creative corporate writer who comes home to a happy well-adjusted family.<\/p>\n

And somewhere in there \u2013 is me.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve struggled with depression and anxiety for the better part of a decade now \u2013 long before I demanded superhero supermom powers of myself. And I\u2019m not ashamed to admit I\u2019m fighting anymore.<\/p>\n