{"id":1913,"date":"2011-11-18T21:02:57","date_gmt":"2011-11-19T05:02:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=1913"},"modified":"2011-11-18T21:02:57","modified_gmt":"2011-11-19T05:02:57","slug":"communication-confusion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/communication-confusion\/","title":{"rendered":"Communication Confusion"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"font-size: 16px; color: #444444; line-height: 24px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/up-edit1.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1914\" title=\"up-edit1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/up-edit1-150x150.jpg?resize=150%2C150\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/up-edit1.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/up-edit1.jpg?zoom=2&amp;resize=150%2C150 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/up-edit1.jpg?zoom=3&amp;resize=150%2C150 450w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>Several months ago, I was enjoying a lovely large glass of wine with several fellow mamas while upwards of 20 sub-3-year-olds ran wild around us. (They were mostly the reason us moms had the wine.) Suddenly a rogue toddler broke from the pack, marched up to a mom-like woman, and began babbling.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u201cSorry sweetie,\u201d said the nice lady. \u201cI don\u2019t speak toddler.\u201d<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>Another nice lady (also not the guardian of this particular tiny person) jumped up. \u201cDon\u2019t worry, I\u2019ll go get another little bowl of popcorn for him.\u201d She turned and patted the mumbling communicator on the head. \u201cAnd if I see your mommy, I\u2019ll tell her to bring out your red Elmo blanket.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Those of us not yet accustomed to talkative tots were dumbfounded. How long will it take for ME to learn this amazing language \u2013 a little known tongue that prevents tantrums and meltdowns. There is no Rosetta Stone for this; I\u2019ve looked.<\/p>\n<p>You see, well-intentioned people have been asking for months if the muppets are talking. Short answer \u2013 yup, they\u2019ve been talking for months. But here\u2019s the rub: We cannot yet understand them.<\/p>\n<p>Search will chatter away blithely, pausing in all the appropriate places to wait for a response. \u201cWhat is WRONG with you people?! That is NOT what I asked.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It seems that before the ability to string together sentences, one must first comprehend individual words. Yet before we old-timers, who take language for granted, will ever understand those words, the wee ones need to figure out how to manipulate both consonants and vowels \u2013 together.<\/p>\n<p>So. I figured I would help out. Below are some of the initial translations I have deciphered.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Ah Ah Ah:<\/strong> I am very happy right now. I LOVE EVERYONE AND EVERYONE LOVES ME. Yay life.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Uuu \u2013 P:<\/strong> Excuse me? Hello? Is anyone paying attention to me right now? I am awake! Up. Up. Up. No, that doesn\u2019t seem to be working? Down. Down. Down. YO! Pick. Me. Up.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Da da dadada:<\/strong> Daddy. I want Daddy. He\u2019s way more fun than whoever is pathetically trying to entertain me right now. Also, he might have crackers.<\/li>\n<li><strong>DnceDNCE:<\/strong> Dance baby, dance! Where my ladies at? KISSES FOR EVERYONE. Headbanging and drop horse moves to come. LET\u2019S ROCK!<\/li>\n<li><strong>Mmmo:<\/strong> <em>&lt;while frantically bringing pinched hands together&gt;<\/em> More. Do that again. But mostly, I\u2019m hungry.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Mmmmmmak:<\/strong> Will you please hand me my sippy cup of milk? I don\u2019t really want anything to drink, but I plan to hurl it back across the room. Then I\u2019ll scream for you to fetch it again.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Ma ma ma ma:<\/strong> Mommy!!! Am I in trouble? I\u2019d like to cuddle, please. Hold me.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Og:<\/strong> Doggie! Haha, these furry creatures are so much fun. Also, goats, cats, pigs and horses. Maybe I\u2019ll bite him.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Bloon:<\/strong> Balloons are magical fun. <em>(See video below.)<\/em><\/li>\n<li><strong>Kss:<\/strong> Kisses. Sure, I may be a little big flirt, but who doesn\u2019t want a kiss from someone as adorable as me. <em>&lt;Wink, eyelash bat&gt;<\/em><\/li>\n<li><strong>Duh:<\/strong> I am done. I do not want anymore of this food. In case me waving my arms across my plate is not clear enough, I will fling everything on my tray to the floor. DONE. Finished. Complete. See? All clear.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Bopbopbop:<\/strong> Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Don\u2019t you worry your pretty little head about what I\u2019m doing\u2026 I\u2019m just gonna push my motorcycle over here. I\u2019ll ride it \u2013 I may climb on it. Really, this should be no concern of yours.<\/li>\n<li><strong>AAAIIiiiiiiiiii:<\/strong> I am displeased. Very much so displeased. I shall now launch myself at the nearest target in need of lopsided teeth-marks.<\/li>\n<li><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/2011\/09\/21\/ball\/\">Ball:<\/a><\/strong> Hey Dad, wanna have a catch?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/-xJgrWGRWQY\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Several months ago, I was enjoying a lovely large glass of wine with several fellow mamas while upwards of 20 sub-3-year-olds ran wild around us. (They were mostly the reason us moms had the wine.) Suddenly a rogue toddler broke &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/communication-confusion\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[23,24,10],"tags":[576,575,406],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-uR","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2625,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/winecone-wednesday-lady-killer-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":1913,"position":0},"title":"Winecone Wednesday \u2013 Lady Killer Edition","date":"July 11, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I went to pick up my little dudes from daycare today. It was an experience \u2013 to say the least. I walked toward the play yard. A little blond girl yelled across the walkway, \u201cLook Mommy! My Destroy\u2019s mommy!\u201d I reached the sandbox. A little blond girl threw her arms\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;A Nervous Tic Motion&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3014,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/today-is-a-new-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":1913,"position":1},"title":"Today is a New Day","date":"January 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The years continue to turn. The days continue to pass. Time seems to slip away more quickly. And now we\u2019re here in 2013. The new year is a time of promises and change. I\u2019ll lose weight, I\u2019ll get rich, I\u2019ll be better. Long before bloggers searched out time-applicable topics, folks\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Current Events&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2536,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/winecone-wednesday-shadows-of-the-sun-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":1913,"position":2},"title":"Winecone Wednesday \u2013 Shadows of the Sun Edition","date":"June 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Yesterday, at sunset, Venus made its last trek in front of the sun for the next century and some change. (And this once in a lifetime information comes to me from NASA, not a Facebook posting hoax. Unless NASA is trying to distract us all with shiny astrological objects. Totally\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;A Nervous Tic Motion&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3119,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-bed\/","url_meta":{"origin":1913,"position":3},"title":"How to Put a Toddler to Bed","date":"February 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Fairy tales will have you believe that adroit parents simply put their offspring to bed and retire to enjoy the peace and quiet of adult time. The plan: Carry sweet child upstairs. Tuck them into bed. Read educational storybook. Kiss cherubic chubby cheeks. Close door gently. Return an hour later\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Bed-rest&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3164,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/body-after-babies\/","url_meta":{"origin":1913,"position":4},"title":"Body After Babies","date":"March 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The evening rolls around. I have big plans. I will cook a fresh and healthy meal. I will bathe the boys. I will engage in educational interactive play. I will read them a bedtime story. They will fall contentedly asleep. I will then complete a productive cardio and strength-toning workout,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Health&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3262,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-next-generation-of-chippendales\/","url_meta":{"origin":1913,"position":5},"title":"The Next Generation of Chippendales","date":"April 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Nap time was an adventure. Instead of cooperating, Destroy decided to strip. Destroy: <Takes off shirt. Giggles. Hands shirt to my friend.> Put back on. I cold. <Repeat> Me: Can we just have a moment around the fact that my son appears to have a 6-pack? Friend: It kind of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Destroy&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Logan_NoNap_04-19-13-300x225.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1913"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1913"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1913\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1913"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1913"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1913"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}