{"id":1691,"date":"2011-09-03T21:50:41","date_gmt":"2011-09-04T04:50:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=1691"},"modified":"2011-09-03T21:50:41","modified_gmt":"2011-09-04T04:50:41","slug":"secret-identity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/secret-identity\/","title":{"rendered":"Secret Identity"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>My phone buzzed, \u201cLet\u2019s retire and start an island business.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>I didn\u2019t blink twice. \u201cSold. When do we start? I\u2019ll pack now.\u201d<\/p>\n

The house is quiet right now \u2013 sound-tracked by the clicking of my keyboard, two large snoring dogs (one comfortably lounging on his back, legs splayed to the world) and the faint buzz of the baby monitor humming a Disney classical playlist.<\/p>\n

Now is the time between the muppets bedtime and my bedtime. As tired as we are at the end of the day, these three hours are the quiet time to reflect on the days, months and years rapidly passing us by.<\/p>\n

With (usually) only minimal interruptions, it\u2019s decision time.<\/p>\n

I could read one of the 27 books waiting for me on my iPad, or one of the dead-tree collections calling to me from the office bookshelf. I could catch up on my People Magazine, so I know who the latest celebrities are, or a Real Simple, with its pretty recipe pictures of meals I\u2019ll most certainly never make.<\/p>\n

There are TV shows to watch (and we just got a slew of new channels. It\u2019s a whole new world with NatGeo and Science Channel). Or I could watch the A\u2019s choke and lose another game if Glee\u2019s not new. There is always housework or work to be done, but who wants to do that when there\u2019s a comfy reclining couch awaiting my cute little tushy.<\/p>\n

So what do I do? If I still have functioning brain cells, I write. I write about the boys \u2013 sharing their story with you. Sometimes I\u2019ll work on The Book (and daydream about being a published author).<\/p>\n

In these quiet hours, on this blank space, I reflect on how far we\u2019ve come. From the decision to become parents, through the tumultuous months the muppets and I shared in baby jail, to today \u2013 with two rambunctious toddlers finger painting at school.<\/p>\n

And after a long day, my thoughts are often a bit scrambled. \u201cWho am I? Where am I?\u201d And this is when it occurs to me. I have two little boys. I am a mother of two \u2013 a working mommy.<\/p>\n

How am I old enough to have a family of my own? Shouldn\u2019t I still be complaining about how I know so much more than my parents? The exhaustion and enjoyment provided by the blessing of toddlers leaves little else to focus on.<\/p>\n

The aforementioned text message was sent to me by Auntie Beeeca. Wasn\u2019t it just yesterday we were two 17-year-olds facing each other in a hallway? We were the youngest on the floor, two kids just looking to start out on our own (coddled by our 11-story dorm building).<\/p>\n

I was a theatre major in college. (Yes, the stereotypes are true \u2013 theatre majors are weird. But don\u2019t worry, I was also a comm major.) Today, I make Oscar-caliber use of the Beginning Acting classes I took.<\/p>\n

I play the role of a grown up. I pretend to have it all together, to be organized and know exactly what\u2019s coming next.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I fear people will figure me out \u2013 that they\u2019ll realize I\u2019m still just a kid, figuring it out as I go along. But maybe we all are.<\/p>\n

I think, perhaps, we all have a secret identity. This is mine.<\/p>\n

So tonight, in the hours between the muppets bedtime and mine, I close my eyes and relax in the daydream of a tropical paradise \u2013 digitally anyway. I\u2019d never want to really leave, the muppets still think I\u2019m pretty smart and special.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My phone buzzed, \u201cLet\u2019s retire and start an island business.\u201d\u00a0I didn\u2019t blink twice. \u201cSold. When do we start? I\u2019ll pack now.\u201d The house is quiet right now \u2013 sound-tracked by the clicking of my keyboard, two large snoring dogs (one … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[25,36],"tags":[444,445,384],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-rh","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3266,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/a-bedtime-story-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":1691,"position":0},"title":"A Bedtime Story","date":"April 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes after a rough day (or week) you just want to sit back and have someone read you a story.","rel":"","context":"In "Stories"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3938,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/goodnight-gorilla-a-bedtime-story\/","url_meta":{"origin":1691,"position":1},"title":"Goodnight Gorilla: A Bedtime Story","date":"June 28, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Because who doesn't like a good story before bed. This evening, Search has requested to do the honors.","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1125,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/bedtime-story-the-kangaroo-brothers-adventure\/","url_meta":{"origin":1691,"position":2},"title":"Bedtime Story: The Kangaroo Brothers Adventure","date":"January 31, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Oliver the Kangaroo wasn\u2019t as adventurous as his twin brother. He preferred to stay close to his mother and cuddle up. She was safe and comfortable. Like all Kangaroos, Ethan and Oliver were born extremely premature. Ethan had helped Oliver climb into their mommy\u2019s warm fuzzy pouch and they\u2019d spent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Stories"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1903,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/bedtime-story-sock-it-to-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":1691,"position":3},"title":"Bedtime Story: Sock It To Me","date":"November 13, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"The washing machine cried uncle tonight. It vibrated, rattled and then tried to escape before finally collapsing in a standstill \u2013 a neon green \u201cLOAD\u201d message blinking along the LCD panel. Every day is a mire of laundry to do. Gather, wash, fold, repeat. Is this a sign that life\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Stories"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3119,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/how-to-put-a-toddler-to-bed\/","url_meta":{"origin":1691,"position":4},"title":"How to Put a Toddler to Bed","date":"February 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Fairy tales will have you believe that adroit parents simply put their offspring to bed and retire to enjoy the peace and quiet of adult time. The plan: Carry sweet child upstairs. Tuck them into bed. Read educational storybook. Kiss cherubic chubby cheeks. Close door gently. Return an hour later\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Bed-rest"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3733,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/mission-debrief-bedtime\/","url_meta":{"origin":1691,"position":5},"title":"Mission Debrief: Bedtime","date":"January 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"This mission is not for the faint of heart. Objective: Get children into bed for duration of the night. Subjects: Two (2) 3-year-olds, highly skilled in art of stalling. 1900: Fail to plan; plan to fail. Begin warning little ones of impending ni-ni time. 1915: Remind subjects of daily routine\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Bed-rest"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1691"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1691"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1691\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}