{"id":1680,"date":"2011-08-29T22:20:31","date_gmt":"2011-08-30T05:20:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/?p=1680"},"modified":"2012-08-12T21:07:02","modified_gmt":"2012-08-13T04:07:02","slug":"how-to-exhaust-a-muppet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/how-to-exhaust-a-muppet\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Exhaust a Muppet"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

DEFINITION: Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. (Courtesy of A Daddy Blog<\/a>)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Search was not wearing the outfit I dropped him off in this morning. He toddled around the corner, followed shortly by teacher Miss Stephanie. \u201cWe\u2019re going to need more wipes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Seventeen outfits, 10 kiwis, 386 baby wipes, two runny noses, two incident reports, one hacking cough, one flesh wound, one black eye, and we\u2019ve hit the second week of daycare running.
\n<\/p>\n

The muppets are utterly exhausted. Their days are chalk-full of activity.<\/a> They\u2019ve already begun the daily pattern of waking up early \u2013 the dogs, quiet as a herd of stampeding elephants, wake the boys every morning around 6:30 a.m. (They\u2019re in for early wake up calls for the next 18 years at minimum.) School starts at 7:30 and it\u2019s go go go.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s group activity, circle time, bouncing balls, and toy kitchens. Outdoor play with play houses, slides and swings. A brief break for a diaper change and nap on a mat and it\u2019s time to do it all over again.<\/p>\n

After the imposed isolation of prematurity recovery and RSV shots, this is the muppets first excursion into the great wide world of germs. I knew those foreign viruses (viri?) would be hard to fight \u2013 but it\u2019s all for their long-term health. Apparently they just need to get sick now and get it all out of their system.<\/p>\n

\u201cYoung children in day care get more ear and respiratory tract infections than other children their age, a new study reports. But once they reach elementary school, they are sick less often.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n

Yay?<\/p>\n

Three days. It took three days for the first illness to thwack us upside the head. THREE DAYS. \u201cThey\u2019re going to get sick,\u201d warned their school. \u201cAnd it\u2019s going to hit hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDestroy\u2019s a bit congested,\u201d Miss Stephanie warned us when we picked him up on Friday evening. He hacked uncontrollably for most of the evening. And then he didn\u2019t want to climb. Shortly after he crawled into my lap to cuddle, I ran for the thermometer. He had a raging fever of 99! My poor baby!<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Search slipped and fell on the ledge between our dining room and living room \u2013 breaking the fall with his face. At precisely age 15 months, my tough little guy is sporting his first black eye. We’ve just about mastered walking; not so much with the stopping… He cried quite a bit at that fall, but interestingly enough the real tantrum with crocodile tears came when I took the tv remote away. He is a true Silicon Valley toddler. MY ELECTRONICS!!!<\/p>\n

Yet by the time darkness fell, neither muppet could keep his eyes open. Search made a valiant effort \u2013 eyes rolling back in his head, but damnit they were open!<\/p>\n

Today I picked up the boys at 5:30 p.m. After establishing that no teachers or fellow students had been permanently damaged in the great bowel blowout of August 29. (Windows were widely opened to salvage as many developing olfactory senses as possible\u2026) The remnants of Search\u2019s romper were handed to me securely sealed in a hazmat plastic bag.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt just kept coming,\u201d his teacher shared. I replied that we\u2019d been calling him SirPoopsalot this weekend. (Hi honey! Are you enjoying reading this as a teenager? I think it was likely one of those \u201cI don\u2019t feel good poops\u201d Grandma Nancy mentioned on Saturday.) Search grinned and giggled uproariously. He was pretty pleased with himself.<\/p>\n

I secured the muppets in their car seats so we could head home for some rest and relaxation (my jealousy of their scheduled naptime notwithstanding). As I rounded back toward the driver\u2019s seat, a stuffed Elmo came flying out of the car.<\/p>\n

MUPPET DOWN!<\/p>\n

And we get to get up and do it all again tomorrow (ideally without the hacking and bruising). And once again the boys will start their day with a great big smile as they toddle off to play with bouncing balls and toy kitchens, slides and swings.<\/p>\n

I think I\u2019ve finally figured out how they get those kids to nap on a mat with no physical boundaries. The teachers don’t so much get them to nap as choreograph where they pass out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

DEFINITION: Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. (Courtesy of A Daddy Blog) Search was not wearing the outfit I dropped him off in this morning. He toddled around the corner, followed shortly by teacher Miss Stephanie. \u201cWe\u2019re going … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[14,377],"tags":[65,441,83,93,440,388,317],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3Sbzi-r6","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1662,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/school-tomorrow\/","url_meta":{"origin":1680,"position":0},"title":"School Tomorrow","date":"August 22, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Remember all those posts about the NICU? And how tiny the muppets were? Well, no post tonight. I've got to get them ready for their first day of school tomorrow! (Ok, it's the Toddler class...but work with me people.) Stay tuned for details :)","rel":"","context":"In "Daycare"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":626,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/in-a-meeting\/","url_meta":{"origin":1680,"position":1},"title":"In a Meeting","date":"September 14, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Work has picked up at a raid pace. Projects seem to be multiplying while I sleep and my calendar is filled with meetings as proof. It\u2019s nice to keep busy. It would be unpleasant if I sat around bored. I think my job is busy because of the constant planning\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Baby Photos"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/streamdoubletrouble.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/09\/daddydaycare_lunch_09-13-10.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":813,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/the-nanny-diaries\/","url_meta":{"origin":1680,"position":2},"title":"The Nanny Diaries","date":"November 3, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Unlike the manic Monday misery most people feel at the start of each week, Monday is fun-day for the muppets. Our nanny, Holly, is officially attached to the boys. And boy, do they love her \u2013 she\u2019s fascinating, fun and oh so entertaining. For several weeks, Search has greeted Holly\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Baby Photos"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/videos.files.wordpress.com\/1CgEhWw4\/first-words_dvd.original.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1933,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/sick-muppet\/","url_meta":{"origin":1680,"position":3},"title":"Sick Muppet","date":"November 21, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Hi Mommy, I hope you are having a good day at work. Even though I am sick, I am being a very good boy. I probably still have a little fever but GrammaN and I still had fun reading lots of books because I feel extra cuddly. Then Gramma wrapped\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Daycare"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/photo1-e1321910485653-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1908,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/bringing-sexy-back\/","url_meta":{"origin":1680,"position":4},"title":"Bringing Sexy Back","date":"November 15, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"I got dressed up today \u2013 well, more so than usual. It\u2019s my birthday. I always believed that birthdays should be one\u2019s personal national holiday. It\u2019s only been in recent years that I\u2019ve stopped highlighting the calendar (now I just draw balloons.) I\u2019m 31. I\u2019m a mother \u2013 my birthdays\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Birthday"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.streamdoubletrouble.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/11\/1343039-300x228.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":709,"url":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/mary-poppins-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":1680,"position":5},"title":"Mary Poppins","date":"October 11, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Great news \u2013 we still have a nanny. Several months ago, while the muppets were still hanging out in the NICU, I went to lunch with a dear friend. Upon completion of our meal, we discovered the keys to her car were locked in the trunk. So, we perched ourselves\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Daycare"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1680"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1680"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1680\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/streamoftheconscious.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}