The Annual Family Christmas Letter – 2011

I know many of you hate receiving these yearly accolades neatly condensed into a single letter – complete with stationary bearing the appropriate winter motif.

Too bad. I wrote one anyway.

Although you may not be a fan of THE ANNUAL FAMILY CHRISTMAS LETTER, I am. I love receiving them and reading the details of your year, while admiring the accompanying photos, too. (Even if I was right there beside you all year.) Quite frankly, if you’re still reading by this paragraph, you’re probably at least a little curious.

I may not have your mailing address – but you didn’t think I’d forget to torture my blog readers did you?!

We close out 2011 with our first full year of parenting under our belts. I am pleased to say that none of us spent any expended time in the hospital this year. (Jon tells me rushing Destroy to the ER because he’s wheezing only to be diagnosed as “kid with sniffles” six hours later does not count.)

The holidays are here again. And what a year it’s been… Ready. Set. Go!

January
: We burst into 2011 like gangbusters. It was going to be a good year! Then, in a farewell to arms, I lost my job; that sucked. The muppets responded to my new position as Stay-At-Home-Mom by taking on solid food. More carrots and peas, please? (Note to new parents: Laughing at the raspberried rice cereal will only encourage the spewing. And also, raspberries and bananas are more likely to be used as finger paint than food – serve together at your own risk.)

February
: The muppets ventured back to the NICU to present our favorite nurses with their first Valentines. (We are raising two very suave little Casanovas.) Then, in what seemed like a good idea at the time, after three days of packing, two suitcases and one very large SUV, the muppets and I braved the pouring rain and trekked 370 miles south to GrammaJ and GrampaStavo’s house so our SoCal contingent of friends and family could meet L.A’s newest stars.

March
: Muppets discovered mobility in March; Search started crawling. Suddenly the world was open anew for discovery. For those of you concerned about our two large dogs biting the muppets, it appears your worries were reversed. The phrase, “Do not bite the dog,” was oft uttered.

April
: It appears my writing talents paid off. I submitted my resignation as a stay-at-home-mom and accepted the position of PR Manager and Marketing Writer for ShoreTel. I now get paid to write stuff!

May: 
Search and Destroy turned ONE! The first birthday party is for the parents: “We kept the kids alive for a whole year! Come celebrate!” After the past 365 days of the road less traveled, we embraced that notion and enjoyed a fabulous Muppet-themed bash.

June: 
As the boys continued to get bigger, we attempted to wean them from the bottle. Instead, we discovered that a large signing bonus from Major League Baseball is in their future. When presented with a sippy cup, both boys would flatten themselves to the ground before grabbing the cup and hurling it as far as their little 22-pound selves could muster – which turns out to be a pretty impressive distance. But if we have learned nothing else over this past year, don’t cry over spilt milk.

July: 
This isn’t necessarily a highlight of the year, but as a public service announcement I feel that I should warn you that sweet potatoes can and will explode. (We don’t serve those in this house anymore.) July saw the muppets’ first experience in a swimming pool. Given their affinity for splashing and dunking in the bathtub, it’s really no surprise we have eager little water babies in the pool as well. (Also, swim diapers should not be used outside of the water. Trust me on this one.)

August
: DEFINITION: Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. The muppets started school in August. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “School? Already? Are they even a year old?” (See entry for May.) But our children are advanced individuals – they already have one degree, having graduated the NICU at age negative 3 weeks actual age. Ok, fine. They started daycare.

September: “Dog. Ball.” With those words we realized we were in for it. They’re talking. (And also quite possibly trying to kill each other.) We blinked and it appears we have toddlers! “Don’t bite the dog! No, your brother is not an appropriate chew toy either!”

October
: Our family grew in October. Uncle Paul got married to the strikingly beautiful Aunt Stephanie. We once again trekked down to SoCal to celebrate. Then we left the muppets with GrammaJ and GrampaStavo for an entire week while we fled the mainland in search of paradise in Hawaii. We swam with turtles; the grandparents knocked off a toy store.

November: 
November was Prematurity Awareness Month. This certainly isn’t warm fuzzy holiday fodder, but it’s a fight near and dear to our family. We fight, so they don’t have to – tiny lives are depending on it. The new Muppet movie came out in November. And the muppets discovered how to remove their own diaper. (This is not going to go well for us…)

December: 
Jon took a new position at work – special ops – bringing new meaning to the idea of a “helicopter parent.” I am not making this up. And as we wait, listening intently for sleigh bells atop the roof, I leave you with this, “Dear Santa, I can explain…”

May you and yours have a happy, healthy holiday! Here’s to all the new stories to be told in 2012.