Disclaimer: This is a blasphemous post. I know this. I am familiar with my catechism. But whether you devoutly attend mass every first Friday or worship at the altar of the great spaghetti monster, this is meant as humor. Please don’t send me angry hate mail telling me I’m going to hell. I already know this. That’s the point of this post. Continue reading
BooBoo
Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Today I totally dropped the ball. Metaphorically speaking of course. Literally, I dropped a child.
Mother. Of. The. Year.
Acquiescing to toddler demands, and an intensely prideful desire to keep the pick-up line moving smoothly, I scooped Destroy up in my arms headed toward the car with his brother by my side.
Two steps later, in those 4-inch stiletto heels I have such an affinity for, the school speed bump got the better of me. Continue reading
I am, I am, I am Superman and I know what’s happening.
I am, I am, I am Superman and I can do anything.
I went to lunch with a friend recently. “Holy shit, you’re wearing real clothes!” 90% of the time I see you, you’re in ratty sweatpants with barf/poo stained t-shirt or sweatshirt,” he exclaimed. Continue reading
I got dressed up today – well, more so than usual. It’s my birthday.
I always believed that birthdays should be one’s personal national holiday. It’s only been in recent years that I’ve stopped highlighting the calendar (now I just draw balloons.) Continue reading
