This is the song that has been stuck in my head since I played the role of Gymbo the Clown in the local mall Gymboree at age 16. (I got the part because I fit in the costume. And none of the adult employees wanted anything to do with it.)
So when the boys announced they needed to go to the zoo, Jon piped right up, “We’re going to the zoo today!” Continue reading
While much of the country has been digging out from beneath Nemo, the frigid sub-70 degree freeze over Northern California finally lifted.
So we headed outdoors to get our hands dirty. (Because you need to give toddlers an excuse for that…) Continue reading
Another major storm was sweeping through the Bay Area. The weather forecast read 100% chance of rain (not “showers” – downpour soak you through and through). So naturally we thought – this would be the perfect day to drive up to the local mountains, hike the hills and cut down this season’s Stream Christmas Tree.
Also, wouldn’t it be fun to take the two toddlers with us? It’ll be an adventure! (Yes. I am well aware this was a blog post in the making.) Continue reading
As you know, the muppets lead not-so-secret lives as superheroes. Of course they have their secret identities. Don’t all the superheroes? Because really, who wants the pressure of being super all the time? (It’s hard being a million dollar miracle muppet.)
Much like the secret life of any superhero, certain situations call for the supersuit. (“Honey?! Where’s my supersuit? … Because I need it!”) And it is then that our hero perseveres – even in the face of a villain trying to thwart them of their powers. Continue reading
As you know, when I’m in my working mommy mode, I live the glamorous life of chic PR chick. (Ha. Ha.) Today I had an event.
In the city.
Yay. Continue reading
This afternoon we headed up to celebrate the third birthday of one of the muppets’ girlfriends. It was a dance party.
Destroy was very excited – he practiced his moves all morning. DANCE DANCE! (Search wasn’t feeling all that great. He much preferred to cuddle.) Continue reading
…and teardrops and sneezes. The muppets have experienced their first rainstorm. I do not think they liked it.
Now, the muppets didn’t actually venture out into dreary, drippy gloom, but they spent a very cranky day making their displeasure known. The day began with Destroy screaming for food at the top of his (rapidly growing) lungs. I quietly entered the nursery figuring Search was still asleep and I could feed both boys without rousing the rest of the house. Search was not asleep. Search was voraciously gnawing on his brother – which, in retrospect, may have also contributed to Destroy’s screaming.
It became readily apparent that they were going to have a “Hold Me” day. Not so bad, I thought – with the rain pounding down on the roof, we can sit back and cuddle in our jammies.
Nope.
We were having a “Hold Me and Do Something Entertaining” day. Problem was, neither Search nor Destroy could figure out precisely what they found entertaining.
Compounded the crankiness were two uncomfortable tummy aches. Destroy wouldn’t sit; he would arch his back and wail. Search kept scrunching up his legs into his tummy while his lower lip would pout and begin to quiver as he sobbed.
It suddenly became very clear. The muppets had to poop. Search’s last download was eight days ago – it was imminent. Sure enough, as Search squirmed around in his bouncy chair, GrammaJ and I heard the unmistakable sound of a young child airing out his insides. Shortly thereafter, the accompanying pungent aroma began slowly perfuming the room.
The dogs got up and left.
I clapped and cheered the accomplishment of this recent bodily function and scooped up the child for a now urgent diaper change. But he wasn’t finished. As I was finishing up with the first change, another wave of baby poo oozed out onto the second diaper – then a third. I reached over to grab the fourth diaper of this monumental change when I heard it. An explosion emerged from my son. I shrieked – poop cleared the diaper laid out on the changing table, spraying a bit onto the pad and splattered across the cardboard boxes holding high chairs in the corner of the nursery. Search looked up at me, his face breaking into a huge grin. Well done!
As I was telling this story, a friend interrupted me. “You ever have those moments where you stop and think, ‘I used to be cooler than this…and now look at me.’?” I responded with the appropriate cliché about how, considering everything we’ve been through with the muppets, dynamite poop couldn’t be cooler.
But the truth is, I was never cool. Life prior to the muppets often found me yelling at the dog for eating his own poop. Whereas I used to get home from work and ask, “What did the dog eat today,” now I get home to discover how many outfits have been changed due to a puking incident. (For curious readers, the records stand at the California Penal Code, leather boots, two baseball gloves and five respectively.)
What parenthood has brought me, are the stories to tell of things I never thought I’d hear myself saying or doing. “Sweetie, please don’t try to eat your brother.” And poop is cause for celebration.
