Category Archives: Milestones

April 13, 2011

The New Normal

(This post is the latest in the recent series, “Down the rabbit hole: What the hell happened this past year.”)

Last year, on April 13, I posted the following on my fledging StreamDoubleTrouble blog.

I am normal! After what seemed like eons since our last visual visit with our little ones, Jon and I returned to the doctor’s today to see how the twins are faring…Our high-risk perinatologist, Dr. Crites, smiled at the four of us and proclaimed, “Congratulations. You are having a perfectly normal twin pregnancy. You are now RELEASED!”

I’m normal! I’m still paranoid, but we are no longer classified as high-risk. My next appointment is with my regular doctor – who serves the general population of pregnant people. (Although appointments every two weeks mean I’m still being monitored very closely. I bet it’s “normal monitoring.”)

Go ahead. I’ll wait. When you’re done laughing uproariously at the absurdity of my bravado in announcing such a silly thing, and shaking your head at the now well-chronicled reality of the situation, the rest of this post awaits you.

Continue reading →

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March 21, 2011

Catch Me if You Can

Search is crawling. I’d write more about his adventures – but I’ve got to go chase him down…

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March 3, 2011

Tiny Techies

Hide the toaster.

Given my proclivity for toast flambe (topped with tiny melted marshmallows) and Search’s intense analytical investigative skills, small appliances don’t have great odds for remaining intact in our house.

His personality is beginning to show through as the type who will revel in divesting objects of their inner bits. Search will sit among his toys – after dragging them all toward him – surrounding himself with his favorites. (Proud Mommy moment: the muppets favorite toy is their soft book, “The Very Hungry Caterpillar.”)

With great aplomb, he’ll pick one up and turn it around and around in his hands – investigating every angle. Then, seemingly without warning, he’ll fling it aside.

“Done with that one!”

And as we continue to work on mobility, Search is displaying the true meaning of being a child born in 2010. What is the only object that intrigues Search enough to immediately prop himself up on hands and knees and, with a look of intense determination, propel himself forward (even if it’s not exactly “crawling” yet)? The iPhone.

Hold the sexy smart phone out in front of him and Search immediately starts to motivate himself. Focused on all-fours, he’ll begin to rock back and forth. He’ll lunge forward, face plant, pull himself slightly forward in a twist and roll movement and army crawl a few inches. Then he’ll collapse onto the ground, give his thumb several powerful sucks and repeat the entire process.

Every time he propelled himself forward within reach of the glowing gizmo. Every. Time. Jon observed, “Now THAT is true intent and determination.” Even the muppet’s Caterpillar book doesn’t illicit such an intrigued reaction.

“Awww, he wants to talk on the phone,” cooed GrammaJ (who thinks everything her “cutiepies” do is adorable and brilliant – I think that’s rule No. 1 in the grandparents handbook). Talking/chewing – simply semantics, right?

Destroy is the muppet spending his days chattering away. While his conversations don’t often make much more sense than some of GrampaStavo’s Englalian language creations, he’s clearly communicating. “Ai!” he’ll squeal when someone walks into a room.

He might actually be saying “hi.” The greeting is always followed by his trademark infectious grin.

Today we were working on sitting – Destroy is getting quite good at remaining upright. Holding his beloved Caterpillar book, he looked up. “Ai!” Then he fell straight backwards with a cry of, “Ai!”

Thunk.

He hit the carpeting, head on the ground and legs sticking straight up in the air – his body stubbornly remaining in the (vertically) seated position. The smile never wavered.

“Hi” and “Goodbye.”

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February 28, 2011

Wriggle, Wiggle, Squiggle and Squirm

Toys are haphazardly strewn about my living in room – they lay where they fell in the aftermath of Hurricane Muppet.

Both muppets are sitting on their own. They can’t get upright by themselves – but they look adorable when you prop them up. Destroy isn’t as good at maintaining the posture. Search will lean and catch himself. Destroy? “Well, guess we’re going down now.” Thunk.

They’re far more interested in the continued discovery of each and every toy. The can reach out and drag objects toward them. (Deemed “advanced skills” on the milestone growth chart timeline.)

Search spent the morning scootching his little legs up underneath himself and rocking back and forth on his knees. He is so close to crawling. He’ll scoot backwards a few inches, growing increasingly frustrated that the object of his current attention is seemingly moving farther and farther out of his reach. Then after several attempts, he lurched himself forward. He completely faceplanted – but hey, we’re making mobility progress here.

Destroy’s big boy carseats arrived today. The UPS man rang the doorbell, surrounded by four giant Britax boxes. “Four, huh?” he deadpanned. (To be fair, we went ahead and ordered Search’s at the same time.) Jon set about putting the seats together and we strapped the muppets into the land-yacht stroller – forward facing – for the first time. The muppets were giddy with glee. Freedom!

But I think we’ll prolong their childhood (in infant seats) a few weeks more; Destroy has a good two pounds left…And Search doesn’t quite fit. Although, it doesn’t appear he’s going anywhere in his seat; he gave a rousing Houdini effort, but stayed firmly ensconced in his seat.

Today the muppets are nine months old.

The same amount of time has passed in their young lives that they should have remained with me in utero. From two pounds to 20 – why dwell on the beginnings when we’ve come so far. Our days now involve the mundane dealings of infants growing up. (And rantings in the blogosphere from their slightly neurotic mother.)

The wiggles, squiggles, giggles and grins.

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February 10, 2011

Happy Birthday Daddy

Happy birthday, Jon!

My husband always said he’d envisioned himself as a father by age 30. We didn’t have any children by his 30th birthday; he hits the ground running with double the trouble and double the grins – blessed with twins for age 31. Although, I don’t think our muppet story is quite how he pictured himself arriving at the point of “My Two Sons.”

To celebrate Jon’s arrival into his third decade, we did absolutely nothing. Zilch, zippo, squat, a big 0-fer. Normally, we at least go out to dinner as a family. This option was presented to me and I became a bit nauseous at just having the thought of a restaurant forced upon me. I suggested that perhaps he could go out alone. Instead we decided to have a laid back pizza party at our house. So I dressed myself up in my least offensive oversized sweats and perched at the kitchen table in what I hoped to be the most pleasant shade of green possible. My milestone gift? Not throwing up directly on him.

This year, I was determined to make up for last year’s giant fizzle. We’re all home, happy and healthy. If ever there was a year to celebrate! I conferred with my boys. Cooper and Scout readily agreed that for their father’s birthday surprise, they would refrain from eating poop for the day. (Gross, I know…whole separate blog post for that topic.) The muppets and I had a more difficult time coming up with the perfect “we love you Daddy” present.

Jon is not the easiest person in the world to shop for – especially when you’re searching for a “perfect” gift. Jon, himself, is a notorious fabulous gift-giver. Somehow, some way, he always manages to pick the perfect item to fit any occasion. (Granted, I would still argue not arfing on someone is a great gift for any occasion.)

Perhaps he would enjoy the new Xbox. I quizzed a few gamer friends about various consoles and platforms; they proved to be of no help at all. (What good are nerdy friends if they can’t provide video game support!) Ultimately, we decided upon the new Xbox Kinect. We’re parents now, so looking absolutely ridiculous as we bounce and flail around the living room using our bodies as the controller seems right in line with our current station in life.

Search thoughtfully nodded his head at me. He agreed that the Kinect system would be a good idea. However, for the first birthday gift he was leaning toward a more traditional route. Dad has an affinity for all things “tactical.” So Search followed suit with the video game theme, but chose to give Daddy “Call of Duty: Black Ops.” Jon opened the game, looked at Search and said, “You look like a Black Ops kinda guy, little man.”

Destroy had other ideas; he was going to do his own thing. We were all shocked when Destroy smiled and proudly revealed his birthday gift.

His first tooth.

Destroy now has the beginnings of one little tooth – one of his bottom incisors has officially cut. Jon and I are both in complete awe at how fast our little muppets are growing up. I know what you’re all thinking. Destroy? But Search is the one who’s been gumming his way through a minimum of three soggy drool bibs per day.

First to come home, despite so many medical proclamations, and now first with a tooth despite Search having a significant jump on the teething process. I think Destroy is still showing his competitive side a bit after being thwarted for firstborn.

For Jon’s 31st birthday, Destroy got Dad his first tooth; Search got him black ops. Edge to Destroy, but just barely.

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January 28, 2011

Carrots and Peas, Please

Remember word problems? Solve for X:
The baby food vegetable variety pack includes 12 jars comprising 4 flavors. Each new flavor is introduced once a week. If Jon and Tricia have two babies, how many variety packs will they need to order so they have enough for each muppet can enjoy one flavor each week?

The muppets are eight months old today (actual); to celebrate, we awoke and trooped off to a morning doctor appointment. The boys continue their determined path to put their preemie days far behind them. Both are officially on the growth chart for their chronological age. More importantly, they are both maintaining a studly positively upward trajectory on their individual charts. My sons are obviously brilliant.

Search Welker: 8 Months
15.5 lbs (2nd percentile for weight, 65th percentile weight for length)
25 inches (0.3 percentile for length – but double the 12 inches at birth)

Destroy Anthony: 8 Months
17.5 lbs (16th percentile for weight, 95th percentile weight for length)
25 inches (0.3 percentile for length – but double the 12 inches at birth)

With two chubby growing boys at home, we continue trying solids. To build upon our math equation, eight months actual equates to five months adjusted. After tots decide their little tummies will tolerate infant cereals, “First Foods” are recommended for babes 4-6 months old – single ingredient pureed fruits and vegetables.

The idea to begin with vegetables comes highly suggested. Fruits are sweeter and kids may not want to go back to vegetables after eating pureed bananas that taste suspiciously like the filling in banana cream pie. So the menu options for this evening read: carrots, peas, squash or sweet potato. (Really only the first two, since the store was out of the latter two.) We decided on carrots.

The muppets were strapped into their highchairs, their bibs were read last rites, and we popped the little orange jar. (Interestingly, it smelled just like carrots – tasted rather bland, but Jon and I got the general carrot gist.) Search and Destroy are both used to the dinner-time drill. They expressed complete apathy toward rice cereal months ago, preferring to chew contentedly on the soft-tipped spoon, and have been enjoying oatmeal for several weeks. Jon scooped a small amount of orangey vegetable goodness and aimed for Search’s mouth. Our little muppet opened wide and gulped down his first bite.

His face twisted in horrified concern, his little lips puckering and his tiny nose wrinkling. His eyes squinted in a combined glare and impending wail. He shrank backwards into his chair and tilted sideways as his 17.5 inch circumference mind raced feverishly. Words could not have more clearly expressed the thought, “Dad…there is something very wrong with my oatmeal!”

Destroy’s response was strikingly similar, with the added effect of our more vocal child opening his carrot-filled mouth to explain, “Ablwaa.” The orange revolution had begun.

Both muppets decided to give this strange concoction a second try. And on the third or fourth bite, they both decided these “carrots” were good stuff. There were several successful big boy bites. (Of course, there were also several none-to-successful any size bites.) They finished the first jar, which we’d split between the two of them, and looked at us expectantly as they sat patiently in their high chairs. Ten minutes later, they’d polished off the second jar.

After dinner, we went straight to the bath. We did not pass Go. The boys shed their previously blue outfits. (I was going to type something here about what color the outfit was now, but there was no blending of colors. Orange won.) I then realized we were bathing Oompa Loompas. The boys had the distinct color of a bad spray tan. And it wasn’t coming off…

I’ve heard you can turn orange if you eat too many carrots. (I’ve also heard flamingos are pink because they eat shrimp and only polar bears that live in the snow are white.) The muppets apparently tried to fast-track this anomaly by simply staining their skin. I’m hoping the coloring won’t get worse as we continue to eat carrots for a full week. And given their raspberry-blowing abilities, I’m hoping my coloring won’t be terribly afflicted.

Next week we start peas. So if the muppets look a little green around the gills, no need to worry – it’s probably just pureed vegetables.

For those of you still pondering the opening question – the answer is 5.

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December 31, 2010

Auld Lang Syne

Interestingly enough, I am closing out 2010 in the exact same fashion that I welcomed it – in my sweats, in my comfy chair, and gunning to be curled up in bed by the New York New Year. That’s about all I can same for the similarities between the years.

What a year. This has been a year of absolute elation and terrifying concerns. Absolutely nothing played out the way I’d envisioned. Continue reading →

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December 23, 2010

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It’s Christmas vacation 2010! This is my favorite time of the year; I’ve always loved the holidays. But I don’t think I’ve been this excited since I was a very small person.

It’s the muppets first Christmas – the first year we start creating our own family traditions.

Christmas was a VERY big deal as I was growing up. My brother and I would routinely wake up every hour the night before and yell, “Mommmm, is it Christmas yet?” Our parents would blearily mumble that it was not, and attempt to convince us to go back to bed. Paul and I would run back and forth into each other’s rooms.

After enduring many long minutes of discussion about the following day’s celebration, we would run into our parents’ room – carefully averting our eyes from the living room. Neither of us wanted to see the decorated tree until morning.

Our parents would groan and again send us back to bed. This scenario would repeat many times throughout the night.

When “morning” (quotations used because we would usually wear our Mom and Dad down by 6a.m.) arrived, we would run into the living room to plug in the tree. The rainbow colored lights would dazzle the gift-wrapped bounty below our plastic tree. Paul and I would grab our stockings and settle down next to “our” side of the tree. It was a treat just to be in the living room – the room no one was allowed in on any ordinary day.

Mom and Dad would stumble into the kitchen to make coffee. Someone would grab the camera. Paul and I would bounce around in the living room like hyperactive puppies, our eyes wide with excitement about the endless possibilities.

This is the first year my childhood tradition is changing. This is the first year that I won’t wake up at my parents house (albeit much later than dawn for many years now) and join my immediate family by the tree. This year we’re the grownups. Family is coming to visit us.

We have an action-packed celebration ready to remember.

Tomorrow, Christmas Eve, the muppets will experience their first Christmas mass. Aunt Ivy has volunteered to brave the ideal of holding a quiet infant throughout an hour-long mass with us. Christmas morning, we’re having a breakfast gathering with friends before GrammaJ and GrampaTavo arrive. Uncle Paul and Aunt Stephanie are joining us on Dec. 26 for an all-out family dinner.

Will these turn into the Stream family traditions? Only time will tell. I’ve been bouncing around with excitement for weeks now. I am excited about experiencing that same wonder and amazement through the eyes of my children.

This year may be a bit early for that – we’re more expecting them to contentedly sit in the arms of all their admires and track shiny objects. But there are endless possibilities for the years to come.

As a child, I was often most enthralled by the material gifts. After the whirlwind events of 2010, I can honestly say I truly believe. Santa came early this year; we have healthy muppets home with us. We have our family ready to create traditions that Search and Destroy will hopefully remember fondly 30 years from now.

Joy to the world people. The muppets are getting ready to celebrate.

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December 12, 2010

Santa Baby

Santa's Little Helpers

This morning we headed over to our local mall for the muppets first meeting with Santa. We wanted to make sure the Big Man in the Red Suit knew the boys were home and eagerly awaiting a midnight visit.

Breaking from his duties directing busy toy-making elves, Santa has recently begun accepting visitors. His social secretary began making photo appointments at 11 a.m. When we arrived to meet Aunt Ivy for the big meet and greet at 11:02 a.m., the line already snaked outside the building. I can’t say I blame people. Meeting Santa in person is a big deal.

A woman commented, “We just saw Santa at Macy’s. No line” as she departed from her morning shopping excursion. Aunt Ivy went to investigate. It was true! Jolly Old St. Nick was ho-ho-hoing to a much smaller happy group of children at the department store at the other end of the mall.

(To all grinches readying a snide comment that Santa can’t be in two places at once: magic. That’s how he works. Our Polar Express sleigh-bell still rings loud and clear in this house.)

I was very excited. And we were off – to find the Miracle of 34^th Street Macys Santa. We arrived to find the entire store dressed for the holidays. The halls were decked with boughs of holly and brightly shining baubles. Twinkling lights wove their way through Christmas trees that stood at the end of every aisle. Giant red banners draped from the ceiling read, “BELIEVE.” Children dressed in their holiday best scampered around – toddlers wrote letters to the North Pole at Victoria’s desk. (Yes, Victoria, there is a Santa Claus…) All the while, Christmas Carols (piped through the store stereo system since the end of August) shared the spirit of Christmas.

And at the end of a red carpet, on a golden throne, sat a fabulously jolly old man. He had a deep real Santa-esque chuckle, crisp white gloves and fur trim set off the deep red velour suit, and the twinkle in his eye gave off the knowledge of a man who makes children happy (even if they do scream bloody murder when they sit on the strange man’s lap).

The muppets dressed in their fancy December outfits. (They are two seriously handsome guys.) They woke up right as we got in line. Search eyed me warily. Destroy was utterly fascinated by all the décor – he couldn’t take in all in fast enough. His little eyes were wide with delight.

Then it was our turn.

Dear Santa: This Christmas, we’d like to continue growing up – strong, healthy and smart. (And perhaps a jumperoo.)

Santa reached out to greet the muppets. Search had a meltdown. Destroy found new shiny ornaments to capture his attention. The elves jingled bells and squeaked fuzzy ducks in an attempt to elicit muppet smiles.

The end result:
Search – “I don’t know about this…”
Destroy – “Ooh, shiny object!”

‘Tis the Season!