Category Archives: Humor

Santa Tantrums

As a final conclusion to the holidays 2010, I would like to share one of my favorite posts of the year from one of my favorite parenting blogs – The Poop.

Sadly, I missed the call for entries for the 2010 Annual Santa Tantrum Awards. But the muppets didn’t let us down. Their first visit with Santa is one to be remembered…

But here’s what our entry would have been:
Both muppets remained calm and composed throughout the wait in line. The moment we met Santa, Destroy became entranced by all the glittering and blinking lights. Search was not a fan.

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A Bloody Birthday Cake

Grandpa Gary’s birthday is the day after Christmas. This year, that also happened to be the day of our fancy family dinner.

I set out our fine china – complete with wine and water goblets. The table was lined with the linen tablecloth and cloth napkins we received for our wedding. A peppermint candy-cane lay across each place-setting to mark the season. Martinelli’s sparkling cider was set out and zinfandel red wine was decanted in preparation for the toasts. Jon ordered a Honey Baked Ham. He made garlic mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and croissant biscuits. Aunt Ivy brought a sweet potato dish – made from See’s marshmallows. Continue reading

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Searching for Lindsay Lohan

A dear friend of ours is celebrating the holidays out in sunny Palm Springs – Henry is their adorable two-year-old. Please enjoy today’s guest post about toddler priorities.

While in Palm Springs with Sam’s family we did some Christmas shopping. We were driving back to the house and Henry was exhausted – more than an hour late for his nap. I told him as soon as we got home, he was going to take a nap. Of course, he protested. Sam promised him that when he woke up – they would go on an adventure together.

“We can drive the golf cart, see the big river, see if we can find Lindsay Lohan…”

(Lindsay Lohan, in case you live under a rock, is in rehab at Betty Ford, which happens to be about a mile from where we are. In fact, my sister-in-law saw her a few days ago at the Borders across the street that we visit almost every evening after dinner. So, the idea of finding her wasn’t as out of the blue as it may seem…)

Henry tilted his head, scrunched up his nose, and asked in the most innocent tone, “Who is Lindsay Lohan?”

After we recovered from the hysterical laughter, we told him she was an actress and she was on TV.

Once we got home, I tried to put him to sleep and he was beyond tired and fought with all he had. He was crying and screaming, with big, fat tears streaming down his hot, red cheeks. Instead of just nondescript crying – Henry screamed the following phrase, again and again:

“NO!! I don’t want to take a nap! I want to go find Lindsay Lohan!!”

There are no words. I can’t decide if I am ashamed, disgusted or find it all hysterically funny. I think probably a combination of all three.

– Amber Harrison, http://harrisontales.blogspot.com/2010/12/lindsay-lohan.html

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Playtime

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Really, Dad?

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Mothers of Multiples are Freaks of Nature

It is both and funny and sad because it is oh-so-true.

Anymore questions? Here’s your cookie…

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