Wineconed Wednesday – I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good Edition

Are you reading A Nervous Tic Motion Yet? You should be. I write a weekly column there – Wineconed Wednesdays. You know you want to throw some. And I would really love for you to join in! 

I was perusing the interwebs this morning and saw this fabulous tidbit by Left in the Dark:

My 7yr old niece decided to have her Bday party today. Invited 30 kids over for a costume party and her mom found out when the doorbell rang. Apparently she had put a lot of thought into it because she had printed out invitations & everything. Did I mention it was a costume party? Her parents are freaking out because they’re convinced they are raising a con artist. I find it hilarious!

This. Is. Brilliant. None of my childhood exploits ever ended so fantastically.

The one time I took a stand against the injustice of my parent’s punishment restrictions, I chose to retaliate against the loss of my telephone privileges by turning off the ringer on Every. Single. Phone. in the house. Then I went out. Guess who couldn’t get ahold of her parents when said rapscallion needed mommy or daddy to come drive me home. Yeah.

You know, lately I’ve been feeling a tremendous blogging funk. The stories I want to tell don’t seem to be appearing on the page the way I envision them in my mind. My fingers aren’t accurately translating the voices in my head. MORE WINE. LESS CONES!

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Hey Nervous Tic – I’d like to toss 2 winecones this week. 1 each for the two drivers on the 3 lane road who, during the morning commute, decided to pull out next to each other into traffic (which was going 50mph-ish) and stop – in the middle of traffic while proceeding to yell at each other through their open windows. Predictably this caused traffic to swerve all over. Miraculously, I didn’t slam into either one. So, the least I can do is throw a winecone in each of their directions, because alas I do not have two 15lb bricks. – CubicleViews

Editor’s note: The regression of our nation’s driving abilities continues to astound me; the last thing we need is more aggression on the road. So a raging road winecone at the commute. And maybe just a few spiked winecones at the aforementioned idiots so your middle-aged commuter car can speedily pass them by. Because seriously. Get off my lawn freeway!

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I declare a firing squad of winecones upon micromanaging bosses – one in particular. I carry more cases than anyone else firm wide and yet she bothers me with 2 hour long meetings to figure out how to distribute the 3 cases my soon to be departed co-worker has accumulated (I currently have 41 cases….well now I have 44) and wants me to draft her charts (because she’s a visual person) of my “front burner” “middle burner” and “back burner” cases so she can make sure I’m not overwhelmed and that I’m getting my work done efficiently. Ok, I’ll get to that as soon as I don’t have 44 cases…of course when she’s asked to help out, she’s always “too busy” in her office, door closed doing God knows what because she won’t tell any of us what she does all day with her zero caseload. – Your Brand of Crazy

Editor’s note: It appears the winecones are a numbers game this week on A Nervous Tic Motion. “The first thing we do, is kill all the lawyers.” (Henry VI, Part 2 Act 4, scene 2, 71–78) I kid, I kid – kind of. Really we winecone those who might stand in the way of a contemplated revolution. Winecone the cases! Wouldn’t that be great. Just fire winecones at the crazies in our legal system? NEXT PROBLEM!

Initially I was going to winecone cancer again. The blogosphere lost a powerful voice this week – Susan Niebur (@WhyMommy of Toddler Planet) lost her five-year battle with inflammatory breast cancer, a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer that presents without a lump. Instead, a kiss and a hug to all those who were touched by her journey. A smackaroo to you Susan, for letting us be a part of your life.

On a lighter note, I’d also like to plant a very large grateful kiss on the sympathetic snickering face of the preschool mom who helped me transport a tantruming child AND complimented me on my color coordination skills.

Mischief managed. ‘Till next week, winecones and kisses!

*Leave your Winecones in the comments or email us at anervousticmotion1@gmail.com and we’ll add yours next week!

1 Comment

Filed under A Nervous Tic Motion, Wineconed Wednesdays

One Response to Wineconed Wednesday – I Solemnly Swear I Am Up To No Good Edition

  1. Farris Bryant

    Love the title and ending! It’s do fitting for my wine one glass!

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