Wineconed Wednesday – He Who Must Not Be Named Edition

This week, over at A Nervous Tic Motion

You may have heard about this week’s controversy – a certain political shock jock thought it would be a good idea to resort to grade school name-calling, presumably to bolster ratings.

Given the media outcry, I am assuming that backfired. When advertising sponsors began pulling out in droves, a mea culpa was issued. “Whoops, my bad. Please keep giving me your money.” I have no delusions that the comments directed at this birth control scandal were political in nature. They were the currency of current event entertainment commentary.

I am not a political advocate of any kind – right, left, up, down – directions aren’t my thing. But I am a bit confused.

Why are we calling out birth control specifically? Is the request to hand it out for free – like a creepy stranger on the corner proffering free candy? Why is this particular drug not treated like any other medication?

I have taken many medications in my day – from Amoxicillin to Zoloft. Each time, I discussed my maladies with a medical professional. This includes birth control, which I gleefully took long before sex ever entered my repertoire, as I was a big fan of not having my insides burst.

Ultimately, I’d like everyone not explicitly invited to stay out of my bedroom – or any other place us proud sluts are doing it these days. Which reminds me, winecones ready?!

We’ve had a nasty stomach virus and the hummingbird was in the hospital Friday night, came home Saturday, and then we had to take her back to the hospital Sunday and she’s still there. Her blood sugar keeps dipping to low levels and they’re not sure what’s causing it. – This Is Mommyhood

Editor’s note: Is there a lot of glucose in wine? If so, I highly recommend consuming plenty of it for yourself. It’s a lot better than that foul liquid involved in the glucose test. And a thousand tiny winecones spiked with miracle medication at evry last little germ that dare threaten our children. I WILL go batshit crazy on their ass.

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Impolite coworker target in site! Winecone inbound!

Seriously folks what the heck is it with people who don’t have a lick of politeness? Do you not have a Mom? Common sense, common courtesy, common to every freaking culture says that, if someone says Hi, Hello, Hola, Hallo, Bonjour, Shalom, Namaste, Konnichi wa, whatever, you respond – typically with the equivalent back. But, you do respond. Ignoring people, especially coworkers, is unacceptable, rude and just weird when you actually make eye contact.

We have a confirmed Winecone kill. – Cubicle Views

Editor’s note: How can I even begin to respond to such an awesome winecone? The further on the edge, the hotter the intensity. Gonna take you right into the danger zone. As you have so eloquently implied, rules of engagement are written for your safety and for that of your team. They are not flexible, nor am I. Either obey them or you are history. Is that clear? (And a huge smackaroo to everyone who just got where I was going with this.)

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Kabam! Wineconed! Don't frustrate me.

Powerpoint. Many, many smart art winecones at the special hell that is Powerpoint proofreading and formatting. Barf. I wasted 13 hours of my life in the last two days on some idiotic 48-slide presentation that no one will read all the way through anyway. That is all. – Mom Muse Minx

Editor’s note: Smart art winecone.

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There is a special place in hell for preschool parents who drive the wrong direction in the pickup line.

Editor’s note: 43,000 winecones ticketed to the driver – one for every infraction listed in the California Vehicle Code. And just for kicks, Elmo will sing his song for every winecone thrown. They’ll wish for the wrong direction toward hell at upon the second rendition.

Search and Destroy BOTH had pneumonia last week. Share and share alike I suppose. In any event, a giant smackaroo to Sir Alexander Flemming for not cleaning out his refrigerator in a timely manner, thus discovering moldy penicillin.

Additionally, I have a special snuggle and smackaroo for any and all ailing little ones. So whether you are a toddler fighting an infection, arguing with your glucose levels, a little fighter residing in the NICU or even a four-legged loved one struggling with seizures – may this kiss make you feel better.

And of course, loving kisses to This Is Mommyhood, Cubicle Views and Mom Muse Minx for this week’s winecone submissions. Even better – read and comment on their fantabulous sites!

‘Till next week, winecones and kisses!

*Leave your Winecones in the comments or email us at anervousticmotion1@gmail.com or tricia@streamoftheconscious.com and we’ll add yours next week!

1 Comment

Filed under A Nervous Tic Motion, Wineconed Wednesdays

One Response to Wineconed Wednesday – He Who Must Not Be Named Edition

  1. Not only is it weird that we’re attacking birth control, but his argument was nonsensical – “How much sex must she be having to need so much birth control? She must be having SO MUCH SEX!”

    Ummm….that’s not how birth control works. That’s how condoms work. Seriously? It made the logic part of my brain hurt.

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