Just about a decade ago (good grief did time go by quickly), my grandmother and I decided to tackle Lent together. We gave up chocolate. The night before Easter, I stayed up until midnight â€“ watching the seconds tick by until the moment I could maim my milk chocolate rabbit and devour his ears.
Iâ€™m looking forward to those ears. Thatâ€™s right â€“ Iâ€™m staring you down golden-foiled Seeâ€™s bunny.
I revamped my personal site this week. (More on that in another post.) I just wanted a few last-minute tweaks. How hard could editing the CSS code be? Yeah, this is me banging my head against my own winecones. A coder/programmer/designer I am not. Then yesterday at work, I received an audio text. It played. Loudly. Oh. My. God. Iâ€™m *THAT* coworker.
So Iâ€™ll be sitting here with my cone of shame if you need anything.
My job is the equivalent of trying to fit Veruca Salt through the dejuicer. If you ever want to switch jobs, I totally think you’re more than qualified to do my job.
Editorâ€™s note: Not only is your place a circus, but Iâ€™m guessing your Wonka factory doesnâ€™t come with happy fun time everything-is-an-edible-sweet pure imagination room. Thatâ€™s a big negative. While I do appreciate your offer, I shall politely decline via winecone. Anything science is kryptonite for me (and ultimately a very sad ending for our little Veruca.) However, with the promise of wine and far gentler cones â€“ I invite you to come join our writing team!
Editorâ€™s note: I can only assume you are a former fellow Yahoo. My thoughts are with all of you who may be affected by todayâ€™s rumored layoffs numbered in the multiple thousands. May you all go on to bigger and better things. A simple slew of winecones at the challenges ahead.
To the little man zipping and weaving in and out of traffic in your Mercedes convertible. Itâ€™s raining. And youâ€™re a moron.
Editorâ€™s note: I bet he has a Bluetooth headset permanently affixed to his ear, too. Clearly someone ate his bunny ears. But seriously, behaviors like this are where the little man Napoleon complex stereotypes come from. Iâ€™ve seen these guys â€“ you just want to lay down a spikey winecone strip and watch the weaving speedster blow out his tires.
A mouth-watering smackaroo to chocolate. Seeâ€™s Assorted Chocolates, chocolate bunnies, chocolate covered strawberries, robin eggs. <Droooolâ€¦.> Come to the dark side â€“ we have better chocolate.
And on that note a kiss to those of you who make me smile. (Also, chocolate makes me smile. Just sayinâ€¦) Iâ€™ve been told youâ€™re never fully dressed without one â€“ I look to you peeps for the inspiration to complete my outfit. (And try throwing some winecones of your own. It’ll make you smile.)
â€˜Till next week, winecones and kisses! (Unless you steal my bunny ears â€“ then only angry angry winecones for you.)