Has anyone ever looked at you and said, â€œJust smile. If you smile, youâ€™ll be happy. You canâ€™t be sad with a smile.â€ This, of course, is bullshit. However, itâ€™s always fun to find something that will genuinely make you smile.
And that, dear friends, is Space Squirrel. This awesome extra-terrestrial rodent has generously agreed to share our delicious winecones via the A Nervous Tic Motion podcast. Take a listen below and howl at the hilarity.
This brings me to my next point. The point of the winecone: airing of frustrations. Itâ€™s kinda the point of this whole social media fad â€“ to have a conversation. A few people have mentioned they are not winecone fans. (â€œI donâ€™t read them; theyâ€™re stupid.â€ I believe was the exact phrasing.) See, wineconing was initially introduced so that we could share in the ridiculousness of life.
Itâ€™s not just my story. Itâ€™s ours. Because weâ€™re all nuts. But weâ€™re all about realizing the humor of the situation.
I love you all, but Iâ€™m wineconing those of you who dislike the winecones and have mocked me. Hmph. And with that â€“ for the rest of you â€“ fire when ready.
The collusion between allergies and asthma has been a nightmare. I throw winecones unto you asthma. You suck! In other news, it’s almost Friday which means I theees much closer to footie on Friday and NASCAR Sunday.
Editorâ€™s note: KICK ALL THE THINGS! And really? NASCAR? Perhaps we should be throwing beercones at your allergic asthma? In either case, it certainly seems youâ€™ve got your coning plans all aligned so a thousand tiny respiratory-airwave-passage-opening-winecones to the dust and dander plaguing you.
Can I throw a winecone at my knees? They really freaking let me down, and right when I was getting all amped about my Tough-Mudder training. (google it). Or just throw the winecone at all of heredity, because itâ€™s heredityâ€™s fault that I have shitty joints. Yeahhh, SUCK IT, heredity!
Editorâ€™s note: Tough-Mudder? You are nuts. Clearly you need more wine. Perhaps your body is wineconing *you.* Iâ€™m just sayingâ€¦ Regardless, a winecone at the genetics making any attempt to thwart our crazy ambitions. But Iâ€™m serious about that wine.
The LAST person I would be an ally with is that douchebag-meets-jellyroll I work with. And THAT is wineconable.
Editorâ€™s note: Iâ€™m slightly afraid to throw this winecone for fear of the ripples it will cause. Everyoneâ€™s got that wineconable colleague. The horror of being part of such an unholy alliance would make me want to winecone everyone around me. So, refer to the above â€“ I recommend wine.
I had a conversation w/ a mom y’day that went like this, “Well, you know, both kids are in TAG, and they just weren’t being challenged….” It took an enormous amount of restraint on my part NOT to say, “shut up.” Srsly – my kids are doing JUST FINE, but I really get irritated w/ braggy moms that are all blasÃ© about their child’s *brilliance.*
Editorâ€™s note: TAG = Talented and Gifted. Look. Obviously our children are TAG because, well, theyâ€™re our kids. Thereâ€™s no need to brag about the insipid brilliance of your kids. And in support of your willpower to be polite, hereâ€™s a winecone right at their smug little lips. Iâ€™m not sure they truly understand the brilliance of a child anyway. Itâ€™s simply in their existence. So hereâ€™s an extra winecone at the parents who screw that up.
A huge smackaroo to everyone whoâ€™s been flinging winecones. Thatâ€™s what Iâ€™m talking about peeps! Letâ€™s make this a thing!
On a more serious note, Iâ€™m sending some serious love to Elle of This Is Mommyhood and Suburban Mom Karen. This social experiment going on right now proves that while we may not know each other directly, we are a family here. And weâ€™re not alone.
Which reminds me. Have you read the awesome posts by Annie Boreson these past couple weeks? Kisses Annie! And please come be a regular part of our crazy mixed up gang.
â€˜Till next week, winecones and kisses!
PS. This your first wineconing? Welcome. Grab a glass and click here for an explanation of what in name of Jeebusâ€™ weâ€™re talking about.