I went to pick up my little dudes from daycare today. It was an experience â€“ to say the least.
I walked toward the play yard. A little blond girl yelled across the walkway, â€œLook Mommy! My Destroyâ€™s mommy!â€ I reached the sandbox. A little blond girl threw her arms around Destroy before rushing her mom with another bear hug. I told the boys to say goodbye to their friends. Destroy pretty much copped a feel as he hugged his girlfriend goodbye.
Destroy melted down into toddler hysterics because I had the gall to suggest he use his chubby little legs to walk to the car. An (older) brunette (from the 3-year-class) charged up, cutting me off. â€œI have to kiss Destroy and make him feel better!â€ And she planted one on his little popsicle-stained lips.
Just remember boys: We do not date girls whoâ€™s Daddyâ€™s have more guns than ours. Iâ€™m sensing a lot of future winecones here. (These days theyâ€™re just whineconing me.)
Apparently a winecone at me as I *allegedly* unfollowed/refollowed a slew of folks on the Twitter. <Hangs head in shame> I really like you all. I swear. Let me know if I didnâ€™t refollow you (or if I should be following) in the first place.
And some smackaroos at my fellow Tic peeps. Follow Wednesday!
- @tcstream (Thatâ€™s me!)
Also, I will now take my winecone for changing up the format this week. Iâ€™ll put it back. I promise.
I would like to throw a winecone at the pain of a broken heart, in the hopes that it goes away quicker knowing how much it hurts. On the flip side, a smackeroo to all the friends and family who remind you are a good person and loved.
Editorâ€™s note: You know, Iâ€™ve always heard that wine heals all wounds. (Wait, maybe that was time â€“ nah, that canâ€™t be it.) A winecone at heartbreak for you. To be thrown with a glass of wine as you are surrounded by your friends and family.
Editorâ€™s note: What?! You donâ€™t believe itâ€™s possible to find twu wuv (sound it out) on a reality TV show? Geez, next youâ€™re going to tell me you donâ€™t think any of those couples will last. Itâ€™s a mockery. Although Iâ€™ve never actually seen the show, I have a feeling itâ€™s a lot more hilarious with wine. What? Itâ€™s not a comedy? Who knew. Would be funny if she gave a rose to the winners and wineconed the loser. (COPYRIGHTED! Iâ€™ll take my royalties care of A Nervous Tic thankyouverymuch.)
Winecone love. Also Smackaroo love.
Editorâ€™s note: Iâ€™m sensing a theme here. But yes. The highest highs will bring you the lowest lows. Hereâ€™s to friendship.
Summer colds. Mine won’t go away no matter what medicine I throw at it. Know what I need? A fuckitall pill.
Editorâ€™s note: Wow. You know what goes GREAT with fuckitall pills? Wine. But even our winecones canâ€™t compete with the awesomeness of that particular medication you suggest. So a smackaroo to the warmth of the season, a glass of wine raised to you andâ€¦
â€˜Till next week, winecones and kisses!
PS. This your first wineconing? Welcome. Grab a glass and click here for an explanation of what in name of Jeebusâ€™ weâ€™re talking about.