Vet: Packing peanuts?
Jon: Yes – those Styrofoamy twisty things they put in boxes to protect stuff.
Vet: A box?
Jon: Yes – the box was about half full. It was about a 15×10 box. Standard size.
Vet: And he got into them?
Jon: He ate them.
Vet: He ate them?
Vet: All of them?
Vet: Are you sure?
Vet: Huh. I’m impressed.
Jon: Does he need to get his stomach pumped?
Vet: I have no idea. Call poison control.
Jon: Our dog ate an entire box of packing peanuts.
Poison Control: He ate an entire box?
Jon: Yes. Is he going to go into toxic shock and die?
Poison Control: Nah, we get toddlers eating that all the time. It’s probably non-toxic.
In honor of Christmas, I present to you Scout’s tally to the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas.”
The 12 Conquests of Scout
Twelve pounds of paper.
Eleven leaping bites off backyard fruit trees.
Ten piles of poop.
Nine plastic stacking toys.
Eight (hundred) pages of the California Penal Code.
Seven sections of my bike helmet.
Six boots and shoes.
Five amazing massages (in the form of a gift card).
Four picture books.
Three cotton shirts
Two baseball gloves
And one entire box of packing peanuts.