Why Our Dogs Flunked Obedience School

Jon: Our dog ate an entire box of packing peanuts. Do I need to bring him in?

Vet: Packing peanuts?

Jon: Yes – those Styrofoamy twisty things they put in boxes to protect stuff.

Vet: A box?

Jon: Yes – the box was about half full. It was about a 15×10 box. Standard size.

Vet: And he got into them?

Jon: He ate them.

Vet: He ate them?

Jon: Yes.

Vet: All of them?

Jon: Yes.

Vet: Are you sure?

Jon: Yes.

Vet: Huh. I’m impressed.

Jon: Does he need to get his stomach pumped?

Vet: I have no idea. Call poison control.

**********

Jon: Our dog ate an entire box of packing peanuts.

Poison Control: He ate an entire box?

Jon: Yes. Is he going to go into toxic shock and die?

Poison Control: Nah, we get toddlers eating that all the time. It’s probably non-toxic.

**********

Scout: <Barf>

In honor of Christmas, I present to you Scout’s tally to the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas.” 

The 12 Conquests of Scout

Twelve pounds of paper.

Eleven leaping bites off backyard fruit trees.

Ten piles of poop.

Nine plastic stacking toys.

Eight (hundred) pages of the California Penal Code.

Seven sections of my bike helmet.

Six boots and shoes.

Five amazing massages (in the form of a gift card).

Four picture books.

Three cotton shirts

Two baseball gloves

And one entire box of packing peanuts.

4 Comments

Filed under Humor, Miscellaneous, Pets, Seriously?

4 Responses to Why Our Dogs Flunked Obedience School

  1. Joanne Hamann

    One of the best holiday tunes I’ve heard in a long while – can’t believe he didn’t need his stomach pumped or something. Gibbs just had his teeth cleaned and the stress of that and grooming has caused diarrea and carpet cleaning galore – can’t imagine what would happen with packing peanuts! I still want to know if there was any problems caused by the eating of the chocolate advent calendar.

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