Being the good Catholic I am, my favorite Easter tradition is the satisfactory decapitation of a chocolate bunny – savoring the severed ears before reaching the hollow portion of the melty rabbit.
Being the adoring mother that I am, I had a strong desire to pass this tradition down to my children. I hopped (pun intended) right online, poised to order a selection of milk chocolate cottontails from See’s. Horror of horrors, they were sold out of the glowing golden aluminum-wrapped treats.
No big deal, I thought to myself. I’ve heard good things about Lindt. Click, buy, score. And thanks to Amazon Prime, I sat back and waited for the confections to arrive in two days time.
Two days later, I realized the error of my TechMom ways. Spring has arrived in California in all its pollenated glory of sweetly scented blooms and 80-degree weather. (This is a pertinent point to the story.)
The FedEx guy rang our doorbell, stood about 12 feet back from the door to avoid the crazy barking dogs hurling themselves their new best friend, and tossed me the package from afar. I thanked him and told him we’d see him tomorrow – our typical evening routine – because I do not know how parents survived before the era of home delivery.
Inside the padded white shipping envelope were two puddles of chocolate bunnies fashioned a la flat Stanley. I quickly conducted a combination science experiment/art project and attempted to mold the liquefied chocolate into some impressionistic facsimile of a rabbit, before shoving them into the refrigerator with a hope and a prayer.
No matter, the next day we were ready to dye some Easter eggs. The spring spirit would be upon us, dammit!
I hard-boiled some eggs. Once they were cool, we prepped the color cups, which were supposed to match the five dye tabs color-coordinating with the rainbow. A tablespoon of vinegar and plop, plop, fizz, fizz – what color egg do you want make? Well, maybe it’s not quite so color-coordinated… (In my defense, the tabs don’t look at all like the color they turned out to be.)
Search and Destroy were delighted with the dying process. Until they got a little rough. Search plucked his pink egg from the pink cup (I totally got that one right), but the newly dyed egg was slippery slidey.
Those hard-boiled eggs? Not so much with the hard-boiled part.
More so softly luke-warmed vs. the hard-boiled I was going for, which resulted in the splattering of egg guts all over the floor. Beautifully dyed pastel shards shooting upward toward a very embarrassed Mommy.
Well the boys had fun, right?
Easter morning dawned, and due to the impressive pre-planning of the domestically challenged, a large quotient of plastic toy-filled eggs were at the ready.
The Easter bunny is not who we thought… And I am clearly not the crafty type.
Aunt Ivy brought the Easter brunch egg casserole and I made a last minute pilgrimage to See’s Candies after all.
Mary See – I’ve missed you…