Stream of consciousness refers to the uninhibited flow of senseâ€perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and memories within our minds. We all have an internal monologue that guides us through our days. (Mine is the narrator of a novel just begging to be written. Are you surprised?)
Toddlers allegedly have one as well. Iâ€™ve often wondered what it is theyâ€™re thinking â€“ given the hamster wheel in their head has the attention span of an ADD goldfish.
Destroy hasnâ€™t quite figured out the â€œinternalâ€ part of that monologue concept yet. So, for your viewing pleasure (and because it just seems appropriate for this blog), I wrote down part of yesterday eveningâ€™s narrative. As you read, please remember â€“ this kid Never. Stops. Moving.
Dinner. No. Special please.
I want shoes off. All done. Socks off. <Pulls on sock until he falls over backwards>
Doggie! Hi doggie!
Blalubberlubber ledbetter (Is my kid singing Pearl Jam?)
SHARKBAIT! OOH AH AH! No. I watch the Cars?
<Hears airplane overhead> Daddy took away. Daddy went away, Scout. Daddy in the airplane.
No, no bath. BROOM! <Begins â€œsweepingâ€ floor>
AAAIIIIIIEEEEEE!!! <Pretty sure glass shattered in several locales. Cardboard boxes crash>
Scoutâ€™s climbing. I climb. Scoutâ€™s in my chair.
<Sees tricycle> My bike! <Runs around corner to bathroom screaming again like a banshee>
Potty! Water! <Points to bathtub> Water come down. I go in the water.
Mommee. Mommee. Hi mommy.
Pants OFF. Diaper off.
I pee pee in the potty. No, not in the potty. All done.
Ooh â€“ Mommyâ€™s cup. <Picks up yellow plastic wash cup. Dumps water over bathroom floor>
BUBBLE FACE! <Sticks face in water. Glurgle glurgle> I do bubble face!
<Picks up red crab bath toy> Searchâ€™s octopus!
I poop the water, Mommy. I do BUBBLE FACE! <Gets yanked out of water right quick. Thankfully he had not actually â€œpooped the waterâ€>
No diaper. I throw pull-up in the trash. My pull-up. Garbage. <Naked toddler sprints across living room>
My towel. Not. Your. NOT YOUR! NOOOO! MOMMEE â€“ brother push. Bonk the head. I bonk his head. Brother push me. Search push me. <To be fair, his brother pushed him away after getting bonked on the head by a toy. So Destroy totally deserved that>
No want diaper. NO WANT! <Mommy won that wrestling match>
<Singing> Clean up. Clean Up. Clean up in the classroomâ€¦ <Toys being flung into toy box>
Book! I read. No, Mommy read book. Phone away, Mommy. Mommy! Phone. Away.
<Climbs up on couch> Sit on couch. <Pats couch> Move Mommy. <Hands me remote> Watch Cars.
Look! Big truck. Tractor. Watch Cars, Mommy.
MOMMY WATCH! I JUMP!
Brother: Uh ohâ€¦