Through the Eyes of a Child

The following conversation just happened:

Search: <singing> ITSY SPIDER! ITSY SPIDER

Me: Oh! Are we singing Itsy Bitsy Spider? <I start singing.>

Destroy: No, mommy.

What? The vocal styling’s of Carrie Underwood I do not have, but come on kid – you’re two. You’re supposed to be entertained by the polyester rhythms of a purple prehistoric possessed dinosaur.

Me: What song do you want to sing.

Destroy: <doing the toddler-two-step dance> Mu-mu-mu-mad-mad-mad…

Me: Ok, let’s sing Muse before bed.

I’ll be up late with a bottle of wine this evening. Feel free to drop by with my mother of the year award at any time. (Side note – kids are pretty much bruise free by now.)

Search: <gesticulating wildly at the window> Bounce house!

Me: <looking at the reflection of us off the pitch black window> Bounce house?

Destroy: S’getting dark.

Search: I see the bounce house. Mommy, I NEED the bounce house.

Me: There’s no bounce house outside little man.

Search: Yes, mommy. Bounce house. I see outside with the flowers. Read destruction book?

Destroy: Crane truck has teddy bear. Mixer has blanket on.

Search: DIGGER PUSH DIRT.

Destroy: No night-night. Big bed.

Me: You’re in your big boy bed, buddy. I need you to sleep here to go on your nighttime adventures.

Search: Ok. I need the turtle.

**********

The imagination of children never ceases to amaze me. In no particular order:

Actual Item Child’s View
Crib Baby jail
Couch High dive
Diapers.com box Garbage Truck
Diapers Thunder From Down Under rip-away pants
Park swings Cliff diving
Living room Major League Baseball diamond
PB&J Michellen caliber fine dining (especially when served with a side of waffles and berries)
Sugar Crack/cocaine
Stick Mr. Olivander’s wand – it’s chosen its muppet
Crayon Behr 3-Coat primer paint for all the walls in the house
Gymnastics gym Nirvana
Thermometer Water boarding
Pants Inmate attire
Firetruck pajama pants Only way to ward off bad dreams
Chickens Henchmen of Satan
Bathtub Escape from Alcatraz channel
Balloons Professional sporting equipment
Curtain rods Baseball bats
iPhone The secret to all of life’s mysteries
iPad Where Gramma and Papa are kept when not visiting
Mommy’s car Space Shuttle Endeavor (no matter how much mommy threatens us with it being the Challenger if we insist on driving)
Spoons Musical instruments
Sippy cups Shot puts
Brother Chew toy
Colander Military helmet
Anything yours Mine
Broom Magic (and what mommy should be riding because of all of the above)

Please add your own in the comments.

10 Comments

Filed under Miscellaneous, Stories

10 Responses to Through the Eyes of a Child

  1. Joanne Hamann

    Awesome toddler dictionary – i agree with every one! Let me know when and I’ll take off on that broom with you.

  2. Paul

    Is that turtle the turtle that I’m thinking of??

  3. Nancy Welker Caracciolo

    Your “toddler dictionary” as Joanne named it is destined to be a classic! Melmo and rocks – isn’t there a fascination with these items as well? My favs above are ipad and Anything yours. Brilliant Tricia!

  4. Joanne Hamann

    My comment part 2 – I think it’s great you’re getting used to the idea of hearing “I NEED” – that phrase and “What?” are the only words that come out of the mouth of a 17 year old. Think of how ready you’ll be!

  5. On the girl side: A pink tutu goes with everything.

  6. Your list is priceless, you need to make it into a poster and a T-shirt (front and back) and sell them on LuLu.com Pure gold!

    • I have a suggestion (since I love to pin your posts), can you try using photos from a website like this one: http://www.sxc.hu/ I use them when I don’t have just the right photo. I make sure to read the “Availability” link before using a photo, and credit the photographer, and if I can, link to them. Sometimes the photographer wants to be notified… And if you know how to add text to your photos, even better, especially titles like Top Ten or Top Five or Best… work really well! Oh pretty please! Your posts are so awesome, I want more eyeballs reading them! Example: I used a photo of one of my mom’s sketches for a post and pinned it. Zero interest. So I added text to the picture AND I changed the title of the post–it used to be “A Date with my Crap”… then I changed it to “A Date with my Clutter”… still nothing. But when I changed it to “A Mom’s Date with her Clutter” I got a lot of buzz! (you can see what I mean here: http://www.lifehappensthenwrite.com/2012/10/a-date-with-my-crap-real-life-wednesday.html).

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