The Hunger Games – or Why My Paycheck is Direct Deposit Straight to Costco

SEARCH AND DESTROY ALL THE FOOD STUFFS!

The muppets can Pack. It. Down. Here is a sampling of our weekend menu. (As a reminder, Destroy weighs 28 pounds; Search is 23.) I do not know where they are putting it.

Breakfast:

  • Glass of milk
  • Large handful of Cheerios
  • Jumbo banana
  • Single container of yogurt

Upon completion… “Mo? Mo? Mo? Beeeri. Mo beeriis pees.” (More berries please.) Spoken with increasing hysteria.

  • Handful of blueberries
  • Handful of blackberries

Morning Snack:

  • Cup of water
  • Handful of Kix
  • Cup of water
  • Glass of milk
  • ENTIRE 7-inch chocolate chip Belgian waffle
  • Cup of water

Upon completion… “Mo? Mo? Mo? Cacar? CACA! AHHHHHH MOHHHHH! CACA.” (I really need a cracker to wash down my waffle.) Spoken with increasing hysteria.

  • 2 grassini breadsticks
  • 4 Ritz crackers
  • Cup of water

Lunch:

  • Glass of milk
  • Slice of wheat bread
  • Stick of string cheese
  • Handful of blueberries
  • Handful of blackberries
  • Handful of cooked baby carrots
  • Half an avocado
  • Kiwi
  • 4 slices deli chicken

Pass out from exhaustion or get put in bed to rest despite protests due to obvious fatigue and irritability.

Afternoon Snack:

  • Cup of water
  • 2 handfuls of goldfish (“Feeesh? Feesh? Feeeeeeesh!”)
  • 4 Ritz crackers
  • Cup of water
  • 2 Ritz crackers

Upon completion… “Mo? Mo? Mo? Beeeri. Mo beeriis pees.” (More berries please.) Beware the rabid dogs near the berry bowl. You may lose a finger as they are inhaled.

  • Handful of blueberries
  • Cup of water
  • Goldfish crumbs/crushed Cheerios procured from beneath the rug.
  • Cup of water

Upon completion… “Mo? Mo? Mo? Cacar? CACA! AHHHHHH MOHHHHH! CACA.” (I really need a cracker to wash down my waffle.) Spoken with increasing hysteria.

  • 4 Ritz crackers
  • 2 grassini breadsticks
  • Cup of water

Dinner:

  • 4 Ritz crackers
  • Cup of water
  • Side ramekin of broccoli
  • Kid’s meal basket of fries
  • Turkey burger (the ENTIRE thing)
  • Slice of angel food cake
  • Cup of water

(Note: Attempt to consume Mommy’s cherry vodka limeade was thwarted.)

Each.

I’m going to blame a growth spurt on this unquenchable appetite. It has to be right? Right?

7 Comments

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7 Responses to The Hunger Games – or Why My Paycheck is Direct Deposit Straight to Costco

  1. That’s impressive. Really impressive.

  2. Nancy Welker Caracciolo

    Good Grief! I’m stuffed just reading it all. How do you keep up?
    PS: Love the names Search and Destroy – also my pick for the band name proposed earlier.

  3. My eldest ate so much when she was a toddler that I took her to the doctor. I remember the consultation well:
    The Doctor assured me that many toddlers have healthy appetites and asked me to tell her what she ate every day. I had not even got to telling him about lunch when he went a little pale.
    He dewormed her – no change. Tested her for various things including diabetes – all negative. He kept looking at her tiny frame and saying:
    “Are you sure she eats all of that?”

  4. Steph

    My kind of peeps!

  5. Gramma J

    not only they eat all that ,they enjoy it ,and we love the healthy look after they finish the buffet; problems with figure? not in their schedule ,so bon appetit my boys,the cleaning
    up is for mom and the dogs . ciao tutti lo ve super proud grandpa Stavo

  6. Gramma J

    Ok, I cannot translate the previous comment. My thoughts – “Feed me, feed me, Seymour” – Tricia’s “Little Shop” experience in 9th grade is re-visiting.
    They WILL grow up to be BIG and STRONG! My little cutie pies.

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