Once upon a time there was a dinosaur.
He said RAWR. Others laughed when he rawred. Sometimes they would rawr back, which would make the dinosaur rawr louder.
Everyone would laugh. There would be more rawring. Louder rawring.
So much rawring can make a dinosaur hungry. (Dinosaurs can get very cranky if their blood sugar gets low, you know.)
But this story is about a smart dinosaur.
The smart dinosaur knew it was bad behavior to eat his friends. We bite food, not friends.
So the smart dinosaur opened his mouth (filled with all his big dino-boy teeth) and took a big bite from the finger of a watermelon.
Then the watermelon screamed and the dinosaur got sent home from school.
A true story you say? Taking quite the liberty of poetic license there am I?
Where is your sense of childhood imagination?!
Destroy got sent home from school for biting his friend. This shocked me as Destroy has never been a biter. (It was actually Search that got sent home back in the days of Toddler Room.)
Teacher: I’m sorry, it’s school policy. According to our handbook, he should be out today and tomorrow. But since we want him to be with his friends he can come back tomorrow.
Me: <in my head> How benevolent of you. He’s 3, not 13.
Jon: <to Destroy> Sit. Down. We do not bite our friends. Do you understand?
Destroy: I didn’t bite. I was a dinosaur.
Later that day Destroy’s snack choice victim confirmed and clarified his story.
Victim: Destroy was being a dinosaur.
Victim’s Mom: <what I assume she said> Even so, it’s not nice to bite or friends. We bite food, not friends.
Victim: I know, dinos don’t bite people! So I was pretending to be a watermelon.
Well then. I’m glad we cleared that up.