TechMom Tuesday: The Technology Knows

(If you want TechMom Tuesday on Tuesdays, head on over to AlliOSNews for all things Apple. TechMom Tuesday is typically published the first Tuesday of every month. I reserve the right to rant more during happy fun techie times – such as the anticipation of my new iPhone.)

I stayed up. This is how dedicated I was. My boys were asleep and I was CHOOSING to stay awake.

12:01 a.m.: Apple Store. <click>

“We’ll be back. We’re busy updating the Apple Store for you and will be back soon.”

<refresh> <refresh> <refresh>

12:03 a.m.: “We’ll be back. We’re busy updating the Apple Store for you and will be back soon.”


12:04 a.m.: AT&T <click>

“There has been an error. Please try again later.”

Mother of Pearl! Want my shiny toy!

12:05 a.m.: Back to Apple. <click> <click> <refresh> <refresh> <refreshrefreshrefresh>

“We’ll be back. We’re busy updating the Apple Store for you and will be back soon.”

I can now say, “We’ll be back. We’re busy updating the Apple Store for you and will be back soon,” in five languages.

To the Twitter! (Mostly so I could feel inadequate by reading all the happy tweets about iPhone preorders.) Yup, there they were…

12:07 a.m.: <Refresh Refresh M#&$**@! Refresh>

Suddenly the light bulb went on. Ok, technically it was a text. But the screen of my little iPhone 3 That Could lit up my voluntarily sleep-deprived night. TO THE APPLE APP!

Five simple clicks later and I could barely believe my luck. Success! My white 32gb shiny new toy was due to arrive in only a week’s time. I plugged in my iPhone 3 and curled up in my bed while dreams of sugarplums and shiny new tech toys danced in my head.

But on my nightstand was a far different picture. A little handheld computer seething with resentment, aghast at the indignation of being used to purchase ITS OWN REPLACEMENT.

I was oblivious.

The following day I grabbed the vital objects needed to live my life – my ID and my trusty iPhone – and headed out to the ballpark. (GREEN COLLAR BASEBALL Y’ALL!) Now, I am aware that sometimes large gatherings of people can cause spotty reception. (Less bars in more places.) The affronted iPhone knew this as well. And used this to its advantage.

3G was non-existent. But the phone taunted me – claiming reception. I tried all of Clinton’s cache clearing tricks; the only feasible reconciliation was a full reboot. Three innings and three reboots later it was enough with the fun and games. The little iPhone 3 That Could, wouldn’t. It powered down. On its own. On purpose.

“Update your status and check the scores on your NEW phone, bitch,” I’m pretty sure I could make out in the shadows of the dimming screen.

Oh come on! I begged my trusty device. One more week! That’s all I ask! Now, if I were a more paranoid person, I may suggest that a spurned Siri was behind such shenanigans. But of course that would be silly; the iPhone 3 doesn’t have Siri.

But as I powered on for a final try, I’m pretty sure I saw the phrase, “I’m afraid I can’t do that Tricia,” scrawled like an etch-a-sketch across the pixels flickering out on the now defunct screen. (Now read that again in the proper HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey voice. Thank you.)

Friday cannot come soon enough. Because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (by her iPhone).


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2 Responses to TechMom Tuesday: The Technology Knows

  1. I totally that in the voice of HAL the first time.

  2. Pingback: Today is a New Day | Stream of the Conscious

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