It’s Tuesday! You know what that means? I’ve been hanging out over at AlliOSNews. To talk about my geekery over all things Apple.
Which reminds me. As I’ve read all the recap posts about the intense BlogHer12 Conference, my favorite comment came from Scary Mommy:
“Reading all the
#blogher12 posts about “cool girls” makes me laugh. Hello, it was a blogging conference — NONE of us are all that cool.”
See, when I’m not detailing the technical tools of motherhood for you, I write about my kids. Highlighting the headaches and hilarity involved in raising tiny twins. It takes a lot of devices to capture all that chaos.
First and foremost, of course, is my MacBook Air. (Traveling in style in the swanky green Kate Spade laptop bag of course. Which got a tremendous amount of compliments. Because it is awesome.)
It’s the central hub of my chronicles. Don’t get me wrong – I love all my pomme products. But my fingers feel most at home flying over the black backlit keyboard to detail the latest destruction. My Safari browser eagerly greets me with one on my many WordPress login homepages. (The “Remember Me” check box always unchecked again as if to say, “I’m sorry – who are you again?”)
My laptop knows all my secrets. Because I ask Google everything. And it is the ET phone home for all the other devices.
Following at a close second is my little iPhone that could. And not just because my beleaguered out of date device continues to magically function. It is my personal assistant. It runs my life. I would be a mere shell, a wandering lost soul, should my 4.5 inch device depart my life.
And as it is always on my person, it’s always within arms reach to capture a Kodak moment (iImage?). I waiver between the standard camera app and Instagram. At the conference, it was all Instagram all the time of course – we were being SOCIAL! (Of course my little trusty iPhone 3 doesn’t have a flash, so just trust me – those blurry black photos are of awesome things happening.)
I’d much rather prefer to lose my purse and wallet over my phone. Although, full disclosure, words not meant for polite company are going to be uttered in an extended string should any of the aforementioned losses occur.
If that appointment isn’t on my phone? I’m not showing up. If you’re not in my contact list? I’m not answering my phone. And if you’re the preschool calling to tell me Destroy “is ok, it looks way worse than it really is,” I’m going to consider retracting my adoration for the shiny device and hurling it across the room in frustration.
Speaking of shiny devices. I’m also a big fan of my new iPad. It’s a must have on any trip – much easier to navigate on a plan or in other crowded space while traveling. Television/movies, books, music, email and the Google all in one compact aesthetically pleasing location.
What’s not to love?!
Of course, the original iPad remains back at the ranch while mommy travels. This aged device is barricaded in an Otterbox Defender case for the boys to repeatedly sing annoying songs as the wipers on the bus go “swish, swish, swish.” It’s also great for asking Nana for Joe. (Bonamassa if you must know. My muppets are big fans. And wholeheartedly believe Joe lives in the original iPad.)
The iPod Touch lives in the nursery to lull the boys to sleep. (Stop laughing. Someday it will work. And they totally scream if it’s not turned on before bed. “MOMMMMEEEE. TUNES!”)
So yes. I’ll be the one ignoring everyone as I click and tap away on technical tools. Of course, at the BlogHer conference I attended, that just made me one of the crowd.
Obviously the cool kids were those of us using Apple devices. While there was probably a 50/50 split between manufacturer camps, those of us studiously note taking away on an Apple were easily able to survive an hour-long session sans electrical outlet. (Dear hotels, Seriously. We’re all on devices of some sort. Figure this out in advance in conference rooms.) As PCs began to whither and die from exhaustion, many pulled out their iPad to continue tap, tap, tapping away.
I was one of many sitting there in front of my laptop, while checking my phone and scrolling through the apps on my iPad. At the same time. And this was considered perfectly normal.
<Look up> “Nice to meet you in person!” <Look down> Immediately tweet, “Just met [awesome fellow blogger].” Friend on Facebook. Follow on Instagram. Add blog to Blog app folder on iPhone. Make note in WordPress app that [awesome fellow blogger] is awesome. Add contact info to phone. Get distracted by shiny Starbucks app. Realize you NEED coffee. Wait until [awesome fellow blogger] is done doing the same. Invite to search for Starbucks because conference coffee is currently decaf only. And that shit is not acceptable.
Now, for those of you who were following along, I desperately tried to check in on Foursquare during my more exotic jaunts throughout the Big Apple. Unfortunately, lost in the boonies of one of the world’s major metropolitan areas, I did not have adequate cell reception. (-.- AT&T, -.-) So I had to wait until I was back in the hotel to tweet my displeasure from TweetBot. (My tweeple! Let us all commiserate together.)
Given my directional ineptitude, I would like to personally thank the BlogHer organizers for developing an app with my individual schedule. More importantly, the app that had a map of locations for my individual schedule. Because looking at the hotel directory left me with zero knowledge. I had trouble even finding the correct elevator bay to get back to my room!
In a moment of great irony, when I booted up my new age storytelling machines after checking in at my conference, the hotel wi-fi was dead. 5,000 female bloggers, plied with an evening of cocktails, denied their interwebs. Do you know what happens when drunk techies are denied online access at a conference SPECIFICALLY held to celebrate online activities?
Unicorns Get Punched. And then we blog about it.