I won’t sugarcoat it. Valentine’s Day is not my thing.
It is a shmoopy memorial brought into being by the greeting card industry. A Hallmark holiday celebrated via a weaponized fat toddler (who would realistically kill the romance in any relationship with the pungent aroma of a full diaper if you weren’t first snipered by fallen pieces from a shattered Lego arrow). All while honoring a saint who was ultimately beheaded, via the grand gesture of murdered foliage most symbolized for its thorny exterior – evolved by nature to stab you should you look at it wrong. Continue reading
Happy New Year. The future has arrived. Possibly possessed by sun flares and perihelion – as Earth neared its closest distance from our sun – I decided to ring in the new year in wild fashion. The boys and I headed to Yosemite with their girlfriend Minnie’s family.
“You are completely insane,” Jon informed me as he kissed us goodbye. “God speed to you all.” Continue reading
The cake arrived at 9 a.m. Two tiers of Gotham City and Metropolis fondant bat-signaling that Search and Destroy’s fourth year was upon us.
We had to hide the cake in the office. The excitement was already building to a peak, and it wasn’t even mid-morning. The party wasn’t until 3:30. Continue reading
“This kind of blog just writes itself, doesn’t it?” smirked Jon as he was sent back to the store for last minute sherbet.
It was the annual Mama’s Halloween party. Ten small peeps (between the ages of 4 months and 4 years) descended upon my house to join the muppets in creating complete and utter chaos. A dirty dozen in full disguise. Continue reading
Under the stars, beneath the moon
Will be a Christmas party you won’t forget soon.
A party for all so full of cheer
A room full of people we all hold dear.
So join us for this Christmas celebration
Forget all your sorrows, worries, frustration…
We’ll deck the halls and you deck the children.
Bring your little ones in their Christmas best.
Moms, please wear something red for a group photograph. Continue reading