I won’t sugarcoat it. Valentine’s Day is not my thing.
It is a shmoopy memorial brought into being by the greeting card industry. A Hallmark holiday celebrated via a weaponized fat toddler (who would realistically kill the romance in any relationship with the pungent aroma of a full diaper if you weren’t first snipered by fallen pieces from a shattered Lego arrow). All while honoring a saint who was ultimately beheaded, via the grand gesture of murdered foliage most symbolized for its thorny exterior – evolved by nature to stab you should you look at it wrong. Continue reading
Happy New Year. The future has arrived. Possibly possessed by sun flares and perihelion – as Earth neared its closest distance from our sun – I decided to ring in the new year in wild fashion. The boys and I headed to Yosemite with their girlfriend Minnie’s family.
“You are completely insane,” Jon informed me as he kissed us goodbye. “God speed to you all.” Continue reading
What is the point of having a first birthday party? The little ones are still too young to understand what’s going on around them. Jon and I agree. The first birthday is for the parents: “We kept the kid alive for a whole year! Come celebrate!” Continue reading