Happy Friday. Itâ€™s time for the latest installment of the honest truth â€“ toddler style.
Search: Mommy doesn’t have brown eyes. Mommy has weird eyes.
(Green. My eyes are green, kid.)
Me: No splashing.
Destroy: That was Mater.
Me: Haha, Iâ€™m pretty sure you just splashed your toy in the tub.
Destroy: Umâ€¦no, that was Mater.
Search: Is that Jesus?
Me: No sweetie, thatâ€™s Charlie Brown.
Me: Did the Lizard Lady come to your school today?
Destroy: Yeah, there was a snake that went sssssss.
Me: Did you see lizards?
Search: THERE WAS A DRAGON!
Destroy: It was scary.
Me: Was there a giraffe?
Destroy: No momâ€¦A giraffe wouldnâ€™t fit in the classroom.
Me: Câ€™mon sweetie, time for bed.
Destroy: <saluting> NOT TODAY. SIR!
Jon: <opens bedroom door>
Search: No. I still sleeping.
Destroy: PISSED OFF. Mommy, pissed off.
Me: OMG. I know I get cranky, but how does he know?!
Destroy: PISSED OFF
Me: Ohhh. Pit Stop. Like Guido from Cars.
Jon: Do. Not. Do. That.
Me: Strike 1 kid.
Jon: And do you know how many strikes you get?
Destroy: <yelling from his bedroom> Ummâ€¦thereâ€™s poop everywhere!
Destroy: <picking up toy> Is this a grasshopper?
Me: No. It’s a monster/gargoyle.
Nana: I’m never going in your yard.
Jon: You guys are going to go visit GrammaJ and Papa.
Search: YAY! Are we going to DisneyTown?
Jon: OW! We do NOT throw tractors!
Search: Itâ€™s okay. This a bulldozer.
Search: I need more rice and beans.
Me: We donâ€™t have anymore. Theyâ€™re all gone. In your tummy.
Search: Then we need go get some more. At the store.
Destroy: I must run! â€¦ â€¦ â€¦ Iâ€™M BATMAN!
Search: Why do we need to put away all our toys? Is the housekeeper coming?
Search: Mommy, are you proud of me?
Me: Oh honey! Yes! Iâ€™m very proud of you little muppet!
Search: I pooped.