The following is an actual conversation that occurred in checkout lane 4 at my local Safeway. Seriously.
Lady: Oh my goodness! Are they twins?
Me: Yes. <Behave. Behave. Behave. Please behave.>
Lady: Aww…two boys?
Me: Yes. <Nope. Muppets.>
Oh kids…here we go…
Lady: Mine’s 9 months. But I only have one.
Me: Polite smile. <Well bully for you.>
Lady: I don’t know how you do it with two!
Me: You just do I guess. <I don’t know how you do it with one. I am clearly better than you.>
Lady: Are they your only?
Me: Yes. <I have dogs and a turtle too.>
Lady: Are you done?
Me: Yes. <You are awfully interested in my procreative activities. This is a conversation I should be having with my husband, not you.>
Lady: Don’t you want to try for a girl?
Me: No. <Some day I may adopt a girl dog. But if I say that, you will probably think *I’m* the bitch.>
Lady: Haha. You will when they’re a bit older.
Me: Polite smile. <They ARE older. You weren’t around for the exciting beginnings. Unless you read my blog. In which case, say something!>
Lady: You never know.
Me: Yes. <Oh I know. There are medical steps that can be taken to ensure such “Not Pregnant” outcomes.>
Lady: Just see what happens, right? You’ll see. You’ll change your mind.
Jon and I always wanted two kids. We almost beat the put on the first go-round. There is no need to engage in a second round of Russian roulette.
As it stands, we’re at even odds. The children do not outnumber the parents.
If we had only a singleton? Perhaps the conversation would be different. But I don’t believe I’m strong enough to play another match – and my odds for having another preemie are now double.
To each his own when deciding on building the family. But for me, no – there will be no more children.
And for all those of you mourning my lack of a daughter:
1) Karma’s a bitch. I, remembering what it was like to be a daughter, would be afraid. Very afraid.
2) I have a husband, two male dogs, two sons, a male tree in the front yard, a brother, and a brother-in-law. Girls weren’t in the cards for me.