Itâ€™s been another blink and you missed it year. (Go back and read the Annual Christmas Letter if you blinked.) The end of the calendar year is really a random point in the circle around the sun for us to reset.
How many people asked you about your New Yearâ€™s Resolutions? For the most part, my family has stopped asking. (Well, really â€“ they spend a majority of year round smiling and nodding at me.) They pretty much figure that Iâ€™ve got enough of a stubborn streak in me that if I decide something will be done, DAMMIT I WILL HAVE MY WAY. (Insert smile and nod here.)
So, as we throw out last yearâ€™s desk calendar and prepare for a fresh start, here are the top New Yearâ€™s resolutions Iâ€™ll break before the inaugural month is out.
- Take back my house.
Who needs to wait for spring? My dream has always been to someday park my car in the garage. I realize that will never happen, so instead Iâ€™ve come up with new ideas. Itâ€™s time to clear out the clutter and redesign the bedroom (Iâ€™m thinking yellow).
Come February: Iâ€™ll have one meticulously clean shelf and a giant pile on the floor from where I took everything down and got bored. (Ooh, shiny object!) Jon will have hidden the 37 yellow paint samples I procured and banned me from Home Depot.
- Complete my crafts.
This has potential. In a time long before the muppets own, I used to crochet and scrapbook. (How very Etsy of me, I know.) I have all kinds of ideas of what I could make! And Santa even brought me yarn.
Come February: The teal sweater will remain half stitched. The muppets will have thrown all the photos on the floor and stickered all the walls with my â€œItâ€™s a Boy!â€ collection. (I didnâ€™t say I was going to be anywhere near current.) And someone will be the lucky recipient of a very fluffy red scarf as I hide my hooks once finding the muppets jousting.
- Get in kick-ass shape.
Iâ€™ve got grandiose plans to work out more and eat right. Iâ€™ve heard running can become addicting, so the treadmill beckons. I want abs. Junk food is my kryptonite so perhaps I will learn how to cook wholesome, healthy, homemade meals. (Ideally without uttering any version of the phrase, â€œGood news! Fire extinguisher works as advertised.) Iâ€™ll put down the bread and drink more water. And then Iâ€™ll run some more â€“ in search of that legendary runnerâ€™s high.
Come February: Iâ€™ll have a Big Mac and fries please. Whoâ€™s idiotic idea was it to sign up for a half-marathon? Thatâ€™s 13.1 miles people! I donâ€™t care if Mickey Mouse is wearing a tuxedo at the finish lineâ€¦
- Complete my manuscript.
Someday I will be a real writer. When I grow up I want to be Dave Barry (or the Bloggess). But in the meantime I love each and every one of you reading this blog <HUG>. Iâ€™ll be spending January finalizing the draft of my memoir and sending out query letters. (Psst, hey agents â€“ stay tuned for tomorrowâ€™s sneak peek.)
Come February: Bring it rejection letters! The New York Times Bestseller list looms large.
- Be less stressed.
Iâ€™ll take more time for myself. Iâ€™ll read every last book on my list â€“ and more yet to be discovered. Iâ€™ll enjoy all the mundane moments more and sit serenely in a more Zen-like state. Iâ€™ll spend time doing nothing. I could even take up yoga.
Come February: Stop laughing.
- Stop making promises to myself that â€œsomeday.â€
Some may say dreams die young, but I still believe.
Come February: Iâ€™ll still be dreaming. Iâ€™ll have even more ideas. Because Iâ€™m going after it all. Also, there will be chocolate. And wine.