The cake arrived at 9 a.m. Two tiers of Gotham City and Metropolis fondant bat-signaling that Search and Destroyâ€™s fourth year was upon us.
We had to hide the cake in the office. The excitement was already building to a peak, and it wasnâ€™t even mid-morning. The party wasnâ€™t until 3:30.
Naptime arrived. The muppets were shepherded upstairs for nap, well â€“ upstairs anyway, I knew no nap would occur. So why bother? There was set up still to be done! So I mandated quiet time (which pretty much translates to just stay in your room time).
Three and a half minutes later I heard a shout, â€œCan we get up and have a birthday now?!â€
I went outside to hang my sign. I was very pleased with my craftiness. (Take that Pinterest!) Meanwhile the creepy-as-all-get-out superhero crawlers, lifelessly listlessly glided around the living room.
Finally, when the clock struck 3, the boys raced into the living room â€“ Destroy discovered that charging at the creepy 5-foot floating Iron Man with all the intensity a 3-foot person could muster would result in a mylar decapitation as though it were a rock-em sock-em robot. Iron Manâ€™s head rose to the ceiling with its newfound helium freedom; the body shot sideways into Search who flew across the floor.
â€œMaybe we should go in the jumpy house. You come bounce with me,â€ Search eloquently problem-solved.
Soon thereafter the masses began descending upon us.
I tried directing them toward the backyard where the Justice League bouncy house roared its inflatable call. Thatâ€™s also where all the food was. Parents gathered around the barbeque; the wine and beer was chilling within the attached fridge.
And as each pint-sized person arrived, they were presented with a felt superhero mask â€“ to activate superpowers. (In reality, Iâ€™m pretty sure the X-men like genetic mutant super-strengths were triggered by the copious amounts of sugar in super-sized cupcakes.)
Ultimately, 23 children under the age of 5 were running amuck about my house. All with capes and shirts boasting the heroic strength of Superman, Batman, Iron Man, Robin, Spiderman, and the Green Lantern.
Excellence in chaos? Strength, Power & Courage! (For the adults.)
Suddenly there was a kerfuffle. A mom darted out through the slider as I attempted to garnish a hotdog for Search, â€œWeâ€™re gonna need your assistance inside.â€
â€œWe donâ€™t have to listen to you!â€ I heard shouted as I darted back toward the living room.
A gang of mischievous partygoers were convened on the uninhabited island of raised floor in my living room. In competition for gang leadership, a fight to the death with the creepy Spidey crawler was in progress.
The head sought helium-enabled sanctuary on the ceiling; boys were beating one another with dismembered limbs.
As I broke up the hullabaloo, another mom announced, â€œI locked the front door. One of the children just tried to abscond to the front yard with Iron Man.â€ I found another little one hiding in the bathtub upon my return.
â€œThatâ€™s it! Everybody outside! That jumpy house is specifically designed for you to bounce off all the walls.â€
Naturally this meant it was time to bring out the hidden cake. More sugar for everyone!
In a manner befitting a Hollywood slow motion action blockbuster, Search, Destroy and their girlfriend Minnie entered the backyard â€“ masks adorning their faces to conceal their true identity, capes flowing behind them. The party was ready to climax with a chorus of Happy Birthday.
As the celebratory day drew to a close, the boys rallied for one final wind to open their gifts.
â€œA light saver! We got a Dark Vader light saver!â€ As they ran through the room slicing through the air I heard Destroy announce, â€œI need to hug Minnie. And then I will cut off her hand.â€
Ah, young superhero love.