It’s all Hallows Eve. Day of the Dead. Children hide themselves within cute and clever costumes (except for a slew of teenagers that showed up at my house). They go door to door in search of fun-sized candy – threatenng tricks to those who dare to proffer raisins or toothbrushes. (Seriously! Who does that?!)
And this year, I have toddlers. So it was with tremendous pride that the muppets cleverly disguised themselves as muppets. Kermit and Fozzie Bear hit the town tonight.
They’re barely walking – well, they’re walking just fine, just not necessarily in agreement with the direction you may have suggested. (These disagreements are generally resolved by a small child going completely floppy on the floor.) So if family services calls – no, they were not supposed to be drunk muppets. They just naturally look like that.
Last year (due to a distinct lack of tiny muppet costumes – and trust me I looked) Search and Destroy were mommy’s monkey and a little lion respectively. They didn’t seem real thrilled with those particular outfits – but they sure did look like the stuffed animals I loved so much while growing up.
Before the sun set, the muppets were fed and we were ready to get into costume. Turns out, they didn’t particularly love these costumes either. But they’re older now, so this year they could be bribed by graham crackers. (Also, we fed them before leaving the house.)
They eyed me with a look clearly saying, “Not cool, mom. Not cool.” Naturally, I just squealed with the cuteness of it all. I’m not completely fluent in toddler babble yet, but I’m pretty sure Search turned to his brother and said, “We’re never going to get a second date…”
“Waka waka!” replied Destroy/Fozzie Bear. I, am a Proud mommy.
We set out down the street, drunkenly stumbling along the sidewalk, in search of a house with the telltale symbol of pumpkin and porch light. It was still daylight, and many people weren’t home from work – so it was like a puzzle!
We came upon a house with a blinking blowup ghost carriage (or some sort of ghoulish décor). Thrilled to be exploring the new environment, the muppets ran toward the front door. A women opened the door with a large black bowl of candy. I looked up. She looked back at me.
“You’re the NICU nurse who discharged Destroy!” I exclaimed.
What are the chances? We’d stopped by the NICU yesterday to bring our nurses Mrs. Field’s cookies – to remind them of their miracles, as the muppets grow up big and strong.
We were off to an auspicious start. Each muppet got a tiny Rice Krispy treat. They clutched them like nuggets of gold. And it was only going to get better. We traipsed from house to house (with muppets mostly being carried by Grandpa Gary or Uncle Jeffrey and placed at the latest and greatest doorstep). One guy even stopped mid-drive down the street to comment on the unbearable cuteness. (I mean, COME ON – MUPPETS)!
By our return trip down the block (after an exhausting seven house bounty hunt) Kermit and Fozzie Bear, muppet BFFs (except when Fozzie Bear steals Kermie’s toy, in which case Kermie usually has to go spend a minute in the penalty box for biting), were getting a bit cranky.
House No. 8 bestowed a cherry Tootsie Roll Pop upon Search. He clutched it like he had just obtained Aladdin’s lamp in the Cave of Wonders. Apparently being green is a lot easier with a cherry Tootsie Roll Pop. Ten minutes later I realized a general stickiness emanating from the frog in my arms.
Search had eaten through the paper wrapper. And he was DETERMINED to find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop. My son has mastered, “the look.” The look *clearly* said, “LIKE HELL YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE MY SUCKER. MY SUCKER. MY SUCKER! SUUUUGGAARRRRR!!!!!!!!”
We were home within the hour. Darkness fell as I flipped on the light to illuminate our own porch pumpkin. I had a large bag of Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups to dole out to all the grim grinning ghosts (but mostly princesses) who may come to our door.
When the candy ran out (or I decided I couldn’t give out any more of the chocolaty peanut buttery goodness – I can neither confirm nor deny these allegations) I turned off the lights and hid.
Tomorrow (possibly today given this blog posting time) is All Souls Day. A day to commemorate the faithful departed. (And Happy Birthday Julia!) But it’s also the beginning of Prematurity Awareness Month. Prematurity: the crux of this blog – and the leading cause of newborn death.
It’s a bumpy ride. But you just may get muppets. (The new Muppet movie – in theatres this Thanksgiving!)