How Many Times Can I Say This

Blogiversary

Today I realized this little blogging endeavor of mine has been going on over four years. My sons’ lives have quite literally been blogged since birth. In no way has my story ever arced the way I expected – I guess that’s partially what keeps me writing.

Thank you for being part of my journey, and for reading the highlights behind the headaches and hilarity that Search and Destroy bestow upon their ever expanding world.

In honor of Stream of the Conscious’ fourth blogiversary, I give you a few of the more memorable comments I’ve actually heard myself saying.

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To friends and family:

We have to leave the party now. Destroy is completely and utterly terrified of the princesses.

Kid finally pooped. His observation was, “I think the caterpillar turned into a butterfly.” Seriously.

He’s chainsawing his new pink dollhouse. Getting it ready for Cinderella. Of course he’s wearing his safety goggles.

How many times do I need to tell autocorrect that I really don’t mean “nice” when I type “NICU.”

Bedtime was a success tonight. 7:30 ni-ni time tentatively accomplished at 9:47 p.m. Gonna call that a win.

Next time someone asks me if Search and Destroy are “natural” or ask me about IVF point blank I’m totally using Handpicked Miracle’s retort, “And how about your kids? Candlelit dinner or make up sex?”

We’re watching the Elephants on Parade sequence in Dumbo. And now we know what a hallucinogenic drug trip is like.

I have finally realized “preschool bath time” is just a euphemism for “parental dunk tank.”

The couch cushion just yelled at me, “”Get ready for the ride of your life!” If it’s not one of the muppets toy jets, we’re abandoning the house.

“Turding.” It’s a new verb for kids who refuse to poop in the potty.

 

To my sons:

No, you’re not a grownup. Grownups don’t poop in their pants.

Fine. I will buy the song if it prevents another Arctic Monkey tantrum.

Put Zurg away so we can leave!

Stop sucking and brush already.

We don’t dance while we pee.

Turtles are not hockey pucks.

That is not flying. That is falling with style. And we don’t fall with style down the stairs either.

Tuck and roll! TUCK AND ROLL!

No, you may not have the fire starter in your room.

Do not lick the driftwood.

Listen Ishmael – I promise you will not get eaten by a whale at the dog beach.

No, we’re not going to feed the crabs dinner at the school crab feed. The crabs ARE dinner.

I don’t care if we miss the launch of Noah’s Ark II. We are going to the park this morning.

You’re 3. What do you mean you drank all of my coffee?

I love you, too.

 

 

2 Comments

Filed under Admin, Family Stories, Milestones, Seriously?

2 Responses to How Many Times Can I Say This

  1. Nancy Welker Caracciolo

    My two favorites:
    “We bite food, not friends.”
    “Throw goldfish to get the kids under the table for earthquake drill” (goldfish crackers, not actual goldfish).
    Happy Blog Anniversary – thanks for sharing

  2. Paul

    Congrats! Thanks for all the great reads!
    I can’t believe it’s been 4 years…wow

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