Weâ€™ve got a guest contributor today. Because Iâ€™m off cavorting about the Big Apple (see tweet stream for live coverage updates).
You may have heard of AuntJ â€“ sheâ€™s oft mentioned round these parts. And these are her thoughts. Chocolate tips welcome.
You know those refrigerator magnets poking fun at ladies from the 1950s?Â Serving dinner wearing a crisp pink frock covered with a snow-white apron, matching lipstick, hair perfectly coiffed, a smile AND high heels?
Next to the picture on my magnet it reads, â€œMAKE YOUR OWN DAMN DINNER.â€
My family sees me pointing to it when Iâ€™m in the not-wanting-to-cook-mood (which is daily, but I usually do it anyway).
There exists a Good Housekeeping magazine article from the 50s, listing guidelines to help a woman prepare for her manâ€™s homecoming after work. You know, things like:
- â€œWear a fresh ribbon in your hair,â€
- â€œHave his slippers and drink ready,â€
- â€œKeep the children quiet.â€
I say â€œPshaw!â€ Itâ€™s 2012 (thank the good Lord), and we ladies need our own list. Mine would read something like this:
- Chill the margarita glass.
- Actually put the laundry away, as opposed to dumping it in piles on the living room couch.
- Set out my most comfortable pair of sweat pants/t-shirt combo, or unsexy pjs (your choice) and slipper socks. None of these needs to match.
- Drive the child to and from jazz band, wind ensemble, play rehearsal, friendâ€™s house, etc. etc. â€“ you get the idea.
- Supervise homework completion and MAKE SURE the Ã²Dx!lneq\Ã¥dx Calculus book is OFF the kitchen table. Just seeing it there makes me sweat.
- Prepare a sumptuous feast â€“ perhaps something marinated in wine or served with a cream sauce with a parsley sprig on the side for decoration. (Note: A sandwich does not constitute dinner.)
- Blend, pour, and serve the damn margarita â€“ what have you been waiting for? No salt on the rim, please.
- Remove every piece of grass, bark dust, blossom, weed and what-is-that-stuff? from the dogâ€™s fur before he enters the house. He should be fed, brushed, medicated (itâ€™s our dog â€“ heâ€™s known by name at the vet) and looking show-ring worthy.
- Find a home for every pair of shoes and socks that have taken up residence in every corner, crevice and right-smack-dab in the middle of the walkway.
- Recycle the AARP invites, credit card solicitations, Victoriaâ€™s Secret mailings (Iâ€™m never going to look that way EVER â€“ why torture yourself?), and Burger King receipts (are you planning on returning that food?)
This would be an excellent start. I reserve the right to revise this list at any time.
And remember: When mom is happy, everyoneâ€™s happy. (And mom is most happy with a margarita.)
Cheers to you and see you when I return!