We’ve got a guest contributor today. Because I’m off cavorting about the Big Apple (see tweet stream for live coverage updates).
You may have heard of AuntJ – she’s oft mentioned round these parts. And these are her thoughts. Chocolate tips welcome.
You know those refrigerator magnets poking fun at ladies from the 1950s? Serving dinner wearing a crisp pink frock covered with a snow-white apron, matching lipstick, hair perfectly coiffed, a smile AND high heels?
Next to the picture on my magnet it reads, “MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN DINNER.”
My family sees me pointing to it when I’m in the not-wanting-to-cook-mood (which is daily, but I usually do it anyway).
There exists a Good Housekeeping magazine article from the 50s, listing guidelines to help a woman prepare for her man’s homecoming after work. You know, things like:
- “Wear a fresh ribbon in your hair,”
- “Have his slippers and drink ready,”
- “Keep the children quiet.”
I say “Pshaw!” It’s 2012 (thank the good Lord), and we ladies need our own list. Mine would read something like this:
- Chill the margarita glass.
- Actually put the laundry away, as opposed to dumping it in piles on the living room couch.
- Set out my most comfortable pair of sweat pants/t-shirt combo, or unsexy pjs (your choice) and slipper socks. None of these needs to match.
- Drive the child to and from jazz band, wind ensemble, play rehearsal, friend’s house, etc. etc. – you get the idea.
- Supervise homework completion and MAKE SURE the òDx!lneq\ådx Calculus book is OFF the kitchen table. Just seeing it there makes me sweat.
- Prepare a sumptuous feast – perhaps something marinated in wine or served with a cream sauce with a parsley sprig on the side for decoration. (Note: A sandwich does not constitute dinner.)
- Blend, pour, and serve the damn margarita – what have you been waiting for? No salt on the rim, please.
- Remove every piece of grass, bark dust, blossom, weed and what-is-that-stuff? from the dog’s fur before he enters the house. He should be fed, brushed, medicated (it’s our dog – he’s known by name at the vet) and looking show-ring worthy.
- Find a home for every pair of shoes and socks that have taken up residence in every corner, crevice and right-smack-dab in the middle of the walkway.
- Recycle the AARP invites, credit card solicitations, Victoria’s Secret mailings (I’m never going to look that way EVER – why torture yourself?), and Burger King receipts (are you planning on returning that food?)
This would be an excellent start. I reserve the right to revise this list at any time.
And remember: When mom is happy, everyone’s happy. (And mom is most happy with a margarita.)
Cheers to you and see you when I return!