They say age ain’t nothing but a number. But let’s face it – 60’s a pretty big number.
But I can’t imagine a world without my mom in it. Welcome to middle age mom. Here’s to another 60 years of people wanting to be you. And 60 reasons why.
20 Reasons Why I Still Want to be a Big Janet
compiled by AuntJ (aka GrammaJ’s little sis)
60. I could buy pants that aren’t “short length.”
59. I’d live where it rains less than 8 months a year.
58. I’d actually know how to operate a computer.
57. Beautifully manicured nails!
56. If I didn’t already have the answer I’d be resourceful enough to get it.
55. I’d be thin!
54. The only sweet that would tempt me is red licorice.
53. No more raising a teenager!
52. I’d have a daughter who cared enough about my birthday that she forced her aunt to come up with a top 20 list.
51. Smart, smart, smart – my IQ would be through the roof – what is her IQ anyway?
50. Understand Italian (not sure how this would come in handy but it sounds good).
49. Be a world traveler.
48. I would be uber-uber-organized!
47. I’d be informed and well read.
46. Gourmet dinners would be waiting for me nightly (I’m really jealous of this one).
45. My wardrobe would be super fashionable.
44. My child would already be through college $$$$$
43. I could compel parents, corporations, board members and even hospitals to succumb to my will!
42. I’d radiate beauty, talent and class – inside and out.
41. I’d be RETIRED!!!
20 Reasons Why Mom Got Me Where I am Today
compiled by my now adult baby brother (aka Uncle Paul)
40. “There’s no such thing as no homework.”
39. “There’s no such thing as no homework.”
38. “There’s no such thing as no homework.”
37. She never doubted me. She questioned me a lot, but she never doubted me.
36. “This car is not moving until all seatbelts are buckled.”
35. She was strict, but never overly strict.
34. She has always pushed me to be better: in school, in life, in everything.
33. I have wonderful orthodontia thanks to my mom the “smile model.”
32. She always made sure that I was home before curfew…and if I wasn’t, boy was I in trouble. But in the end, it was only because she cared about my safety.
31. I was able to power through the last 25+ years on a steady diet of mom’s gourmet PBJ and Grilled Cheese.
30. My spelling, punctuation, grammar, and vocabulary are exemplary due to the plethora of training and guidance from mom.
29. Despite her constant protests that I have “champagne taste on a beer budget,” I feel like she has instilled a great understanding of finance in me and the ability to properly manage my money.
28. She has ALWAYS been there for me. Whenever something is bothering me, I know that I can count on mom.
27. She has always been honest and open with me. There is no one else I trust more than her.
26. She always has the answer. If I can’t figure something out, or need guidance, I know who to turn to.
25. She is ALWAYS 100% organized. Organization is so critical in life and that is one thing she has definitely imparted on me.
24. She has been the ultimate role model: always on time, always determined, never gives up.
23. She carried on the poised, classy, and strong characteristics that were exemplified by my Grandma and she has since passed them on to me.
22. She cares. Knowing that I always have had someone there who truly cared about my progress through life has been more motivating that I could ever explain.
21. She loves me.
20 Reasons Why I Look Forward to Becoming My Mother
compiled by non-other than me
20. Giving my children enough love and guidance to adequately create nutty family stories.
19. It’s nice being her carbon copy. I look forward to looking that good in three decades.
18. Grandma’s stories were my favorite to hear. As a self-proclaimed storyteller, I can’t wait to one day pass on the family tales.
17. Being able to provide direction for my children in a way that my geographically challenged self never could otherwise.
16. Using my neuroses and paranoid tendencies toward the worst possible scenario to better the world through the next generation.
15. Traveling the country, the world, the universe – all throughout time – exploring fantasy and fiction via the books we read.
14. Building upon the strength of family to prove I’m not as breakable as previously thought – despite how hard my offspring try to break me.
13. Nobody messes with Mom. Nobody.
12. Reassurance that children nicknamed “karma” will turn out ok.
11. I like to think of myself as a jargon translator. But after half a lifetime spent as a speech therapist and married to my father, she can understand anyone.
10. “Mothers are all slightly insane.” – J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye. We’ll fit right in.
9. They say necessity is the motherhood of invention. This is a lie. Motherhood is the necessity of invention.
8. It’s flattering to be adored by men of all ages – from elderly distinguished Papas to being a tiny Search’s most favoritist person ever.
7. As a teenager, I knew everything. Someday, when my children are grown, they will think I know everything again.
6. It will be entirely possible to subsist on coffee, wine, cantaloupe and cottage cheese.
5. Knowing that the curve balls life throws will work out – such as preemie grandbabies being totally fine because they were born on the 28th, which just so happens to be lucky Wes Parker’s number. Then teaching said grand-cutie-pies to RUN THE BASES!
4. Someday I will be retired. When that day comes, the angels will sing, heaven will shine down upon me, and there will be no homework.
3. A grandmother just enjoys the fun times with her cutie pies. And can return them when the tantruming begins.
2. Knowing that by the time I figured out adulthood meant realizing Mom was totally right, I’ll be smiling down upon two of my own children who are completely convinced I’m wrong.
1. “I hope you have a daughter just like you” was an oft-heard childhood threat. But I hope my mom has a daughter just like her.