Fancy Pants

Fancy Pants

It’s Christmas season. Which means the preschool Christmas concert is upon us.

Destroy informed me he would be wearing his reindeer hat and fancy pants. He has those now. Mostly I was hoping that Search would be in pants.

Search is going through a bit of an ornery phase. Unfortunately this involves a very strong distaste for pants. He’s been obsessing over shorts, but as the temperature drops (it’s a frigid 61 degrees right now) we’ve issued the mandate that he needs to wear long pants to school.

There is a pair of track pants he likes, and a ratty pair of gray sweat pants. Neither of which can be considered “Sunday Best” for a Christmas concert. Nor will they be sufficient as the sole slacks for the season. They’re already survivors from last year’s fashion wardrobe.

Finally, upon further pressuring, Search adopted two pairs of gray cargo pants acquired during last year’s Old Navy 3T buyout excursion – an outing where we purchased every pair of size 3T pants in the store.

Old Navy no longer makes this particular style.

And as Search remains size “almost 3T” (still needing to roll the waistband to keep from sporting the saggy pants look), it was time to head back to THE MALL for a full family quest to let the boy himself find a suitable suit-up.

No problem, how hard could it be to convince a stubborn-as-his-mother preschooler that he wants something different…

We hit Old Navy first. They’re pretty standard fare – and perhaps they would have a similar-enough style.

There, Search proceeded to shake his head at every pair of pants. “No. I don’t like those.” He did find one pair he deemed acceptable – a misplaced clearance sale of his precious gray cargos. Size 5T. Alas, my almost 5-year-old does not come close to fitting in that size.

While arguing with Search that the gray pants were a nonstarter, Destroy found a pair of the ugliest brown corduroy pants I have ever seen. As in, “1960 called. They said they don’t want them back.” I left Destroy and the poop-colored pants with Jon.

Search and I headed across the way to H&M kids. They had metallic shiny jeans. Nope.

We wound our way through the throngs of holiday shoppers to find Gap Kids. They did not have size 3T cargo pants. They did not have cargo pants at all. In fact (and I am not making this up) there was not a single pair of size 3T pants in the entire store.

Finally, we found The Children’s Place – an aptly named store that shined victory upon us by virtue of a cubby filled with $12 size 3T gray cargo pants. Search didn’t exactly express enthusiasm, but he didn’t refuse to wear them either.

I bought three.

The next morning I heard Destroy shouting, “TOO TIGHT! TOO TIGHT!” which resulted in a life lesson on how some pants have buttons.

Me: Do you know what it means when your pants have a zipper and buttons?

Destroy: It’s hard to put them on so you have to take them apart first?

Me: It means you wear Big Boy pants now.

Destroy: No Mommy. They’re fancy pants.

From down the hall I heard Search begin the morning melee with his battle cry, “I don’t LIKE these pants!”

I’ll take the fancy pants.

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