The children arose before the automatic coffee timer this morning. That was rough.
I donâ€™t didnâ€™t drink coffee. I didnâ€™t â€“ past tense. Now I do. Now I drink a lot of it. Itâ€™s medically necessary.
â€œWomen who drink four cups of coffee a day are 20 percent less likely to become depressed than women who rarely drink coffee.â€ This may be my favorite study. Ever.
Crisis! Have I struggled with depression all these years because I was too stubborn to embrace the company of the caffeine crowd?
Two years ago, as I was languishing in Labor and Delivery Room 14, a Cadillac coffee maker â€“ a 12-cup CuisinArt CoffeeMaker â€“ arrived at my doorstep. I made fun of GrammaJ for that one.
My parentâ€™s drank coffee every morning. Two sugars, no milk. It smelled okâ€¦I eventually began to succumb to the delights of mocha flavoring. But the actual stuff just taste awful. My Uncle Ray would drink a full pot each morning. Black.
I took my first â€œrealâ€ job out of college and was promptly assigned to the Stock Exchange hours. My butt landed in my fancy corporate Aeron chair every morning at 5:45. And still, I refused the Sirenâ€™s song of coffee.
Pshaw, I scoffed. I will drink tea! Iâ€™m not one of the multitudes of coffee addicts. Plus, that early morning trip to Starbucks would cost me a snooze cycle. (I did occasionally get a sugary mocha. But that was less coffee and more sugary heated chocolate milk. Hmmâ€¦I guess that would make it hot chocolate.)
Slowly, time caught up with. Ok fine, age caught up with me. Yeah, Iâ€™ll have a cup of coffee. Actually, Iâ€™m on empty, Iâ€™ll go with you to get a refill. As the years passed and days began to blend together, Iâ€™m not sure whether the addiction was specific to the energy rush (which Iâ€™d never had a problem inducing with a Snickers bar) or the desire to step away from the computer screen.
As a (briefly) pregnant woman, I studiously avoided all the naughty foods, soaps, textures, and movements that could possibly harm my gestating children. (Well â€“ I didnâ€™t drink any alcohol, caffeinated sodas or coffee and then I arfed up any additional morsels of food before being locked down on bedrest. I maintain my argument stands. This totally still counts.)
And I have just now learned that caffeine makes you less depressed? Here I just thought it merely kept me functioning throughout the day and upright in the evenings. I should be the happiest girl in the world! (At least I can still catch the muppets.)
I should have known.
When the tiny little muppets were born, shots of espresso were immediately injected into their morning feedings. Apparently, not only does coffee make you happy, it helps you breathe and prevents brain bleeds.
So what have we learned from this?
Coffee. Is. Needed.
The magical, wonderful, amazing warm (or iced) comfort drink. Iâ€™m pretty sure this means we all need to head out for a coffee break.
Are you with me?!