Category Archives: Shopping

School’s Back in Session: May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor

Picture is worth 1,000 words.

Picture is worth 1,000 words.

Kindergarten. Appearing as adorable tiny tots to those who have been there, done that, and a momentous milestone for parents who once thought they’d have to grant NICU privileges to a high school math tutor.

No longer in daycare or preschool. This is the show. This is elementary school. Continue reading

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TechMom Tuesday: Targeted Baby on Board?

TechMom

I write a monthly column over at AlliOSNews. It’s a techie site – extolling all the goodies and gunpowder on the Apple OS. (SHINY TOY!) I’m TechMom. And these are my stories on how technology is really used. This is what you must deal with, as I am a Silicon Valley nerd by day.

I’m well aware it’s Wednesday. TechMom Tuesday is typically published the first Tuesday of every month, but this month your techie insights were delivered a week late because last week was a holiday week. I reserve the right to rant more or less as the technical goings-on, well…go on. Continue reading

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A Treat: Kids Know What Makes a Hero

treat-logo-2013-11-12

Father’s Day is still a month out, but the folks over at Treat put together an adorable compilation video, asking kids what makes their dad special.

Can you spot the moment that makes me tear up every time? Continue reading

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The Great Target Tantrum of 2013

ecard

Yes. Yes I was *that* mom in Target.

With two trantruming twins impressively flinging themselves about. The cart carrying them, with wheels already off-kilter, jerking in unnatural directions. Continue reading

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Learn From My Poor Parenting Decisions

mall Trip

“It seems like a good idea” never is. Ever.

It’d been a long short week. And when I went to pick up the boys, Destroy was sitting on the floor of the playground poking his finger through the toe of his shoe. Continue reading

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If You’re Going Through Hell…

Valley_Fair

You’re probably at the mall.

For I have seen the Gates of Hell. And they bear the sign, “Valley Fair.”

Whoever coined the phrase “If you’re going through hell, keep on going…” was obviously at the mall when inspiration hit. Continue reading

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Muppet Shoes (Surprisingly Not a Metaphor)

Oh. My. God.

Muppet geeks can get their kicks a little greener this fall, as adidas releases its new Superstar II sneaker inspired by Kermit the Frog, the Muppets most visible front man. The Kermit the Frog – Adidas Superstar II shoes feature a white leather and patent upper, with a white toe box and green rubber outsole. Running along one of the green leather stripes are the words “The Original Hip Hop.” The shoe’s tongue hangs a version of Kermit’s fringed collar. Continue reading

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Seriously?

Seriously? Continue reading

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Carrots and Peas, Please

Remember word problems? Solve for X:
The baby food vegetable variety pack includes 12 jars comprising 4 flavors. Each new flavor is introduced once a week. If Jon and Tricia have two babies, how many variety packs will they need to order so they have enough for each muppet can enjoy one flavor each week?

The muppets are eight months old today (actual); to celebrate, we awoke and trooped off to a morning doctor appointment. The boys continue their determined path to put their preemie days far behind them. Both are officially on the growth chart for their chronological age. More importantly, they are both maintaining a studly positively upward trajectory on their individual charts. My sons are obviously brilliant.

Search Welker: 8 Months
15.5 lbs (2nd percentile for weight, 65th percentile weight for length)
25 inches (0.3 percentile for length – but double the 12 inches at birth)

Destroy Anthony: 8 Months
17.5 lbs (16th percentile for weight, 95th percentile weight for length)
25 inches (0.3 percentile for length – but double the 12 inches at birth)

With two chubby growing boys at home, we continue trying solids. To build upon our math equation, eight months actual equates to five months adjusted. After tots decide their little tummies will tolerate infant cereals, “First Foods” are recommended for babes 4-6 months old – single ingredient pureed fruits and vegetables.

The idea to begin with vegetables comes highly suggested. Fruits are sweeter and kids may not want to go back to vegetables after eating pureed bananas that taste suspiciously like the filling in banana cream pie. So the menu options for this evening read: carrots, peas, squash or sweet potato. (Really only the first two, since the store was out of the latter two.) We decided on carrots.

The muppets were strapped into their highchairs, their bibs were read last rites, and we popped the little orange jar. (Interestingly, it smelled just like carrots – tasted rather bland, but Jon and I got the general carrot gist.) Search and Destroy are both used to the dinner-time drill. They expressed complete apathy toward rice cereal months ago, preferring to chew contentedly on the soft-tipped spoon, and have been enjoying oatmeal for several weeks. Jon scooped a small amount of orangey vegetable goodness and aimed for Search’s mouth. Our little muppet opened wide and gulped down his first bite.

His face twisted in horrified concern, his little lips puckering and his tiny nose wrinkling. His eyes squinted in a combined glare and impending wail. He shrank backwards into his chair and tilted sideways as his 17.5 inch circumference mind raced feverishly. Words could not have more clearly expressed the thought, “Dad…there is something very wrong with my oatmeal!”

Destroy’s response was strikingly similar, with the added effect of our more vocal child opening his carrot-filled mouth to explain, “Ablwaa.” The orange revolution had begun.

Both muppets decided to give this strange concoction a second try. And on the third or fourth bite, they both decided these “carrots” were good stuff. There were several successful big boy bites. (Of course, there were also several none-to-successful any size bites.) They finished the first jar, which we’d split between the two of them, and looked at us expectantly as they sat patiently in their high chairs. Ten minutes later, they’d polished off the second jar.

After dinner, we went straight to the bath. We did not pass Go. The boys shed their previously blue outfits. (I was going to type something here about what color the outfit was now, but there was no blending of colors. Orange won.) I then realized we were bathing Oompa Loompas. The boys had the distinct color of a bad spray tan. And it wasn’t coming off…

I’ve heard you can turn orange if you eat too many carrots. (I’ve also heard flamingos are pink because they eat shrimp and only polar bears that live in the snow are white.) The muppets apparently tried to fast-track this anomaly by simply staining their skin. I’m hoping the coloring won’t get worse as we continue to eat carrots for a full week. And given their raspberry-blowing abilities, I’m hoping my coloring won’t be terribly afflicted.

Next week we start peas. So if the muppets look a little green around the gills, no need to worry – it’s probably just pureed vegetables.

For those of you still pondering the opening question – the answer is 5.

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Customer Service

Most stories involve complaints about the severe lack of service – such as my experience at Target a few weeks ago when the customer associates sent me out to the parking lot to forage for my own shopping cart.

And of course, you’ve all heard about my adventures with Social Security…

Diapers.com is a massive online baby order store. The concept meets the needs of frantic, sleep-deprived parents who don’t want to bundle the babies into the cars for a midnight diaper run. And Babies R Us is scary at any time of day. Instead, you can order pretty much any baby item you can think of from the website. It’ll show up at your doorstep within a couple days.

I adore this site. I have taken to ordering all of the muppets needs. Last week, we managed to misplace all of the muppets pluggies. They’re translucent – so they tend to blend in wherever the muppets spit them out. Jon and I agreed to order a few more of the colored variety. I logged on and clicked my way through the process to select two brand new blue pluggies. Two days later my box arrived.

With pink pluggies.

Now, far be it from me to adhere to stereotypes, but I’m also not willing to create more confusion about the boys for nosy confused strangers.

I grumbled my way over to the computer to try and figure out the return policy. Sometimes I feel that’s the tradeoff we choose – convenience for interaction with a human. (Not that said humans are always all that helpful). I found a phone number and dialed. It was a Saturday evening. I did not have high hopes.

Two rings later a real-live human answered the phone. I was confused. No phone tree?

I explained my pink pluggie predicament. The agent apologized and said he’d get a replacement sent right out to me. When I asked how I should return the pink pluggies, I was told to keep them – donate them to a friend with a little girl 0-6 months old. The agent then told me he’d contact the warehouse personally, to make sure the appropriate pluggie would be sent to the muppets.

You can’t blame me for being a bit dubious. Sunday morning I received a personal email from Robert.
“Hello Tricia,
How are you? I spoke to you yesterday and I received an email from the warehouse. They will make sure you receive the boy color pacifiers.
Have a great day!
Robert
Customer Care Team”

I was amazed.

Today, Monday, I got home from work. A Diapers.com box was sitting on the doorstep. Two baby blue boy pacifiers ready to calm nervous muppets.

Not even a full working day had passed since I called about my order. THAT is customer service.

And those of you without small people. Diapers.com has a sister site: Soap.com, for all your household necessities.

This is not a sponsored post. Just a shout out for a business that managed to seriously impress a frazzled new mom. And over something as simple as a locatable pluggie.

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