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Prom Dates

April 2, 2012

Good news. I’ve secured the muppets dates to prom. It will be a twinsplosion of adorableness.

Remember the Lovelies? Back in February, Maureen announced was pregnant. And there were two. Twins! To reiterate: DOUBLE TROUBLE IS TAKING OVER Y’ALL!

Identical girls. (Destroy, aka Casanova, is *thrilled* – remember boys, only date girls whose daddy’s have less guns than yours.)

And then a week after we celebrated, I received the news about their 12-week ultrasound – that magical entry point into the second trimester when everything is supposed to be ok. It wasn’t. (more…)

Infertility is a Bitch

November 16, 2011

A friend’s blog so aptly states Sometimes It’s Hard to Get Pregnant. “It’s hard to get pregnant. It’s hard to stay pregnant. And it’s hard to continue the journey.”

In college I was polka dotted. I visited approximately 732 dermatologists to figure out what was wrong with me. Finally, a doctor shared it wasn’t just an epidemiological stylistic body modification choice (although I do still bear the scars). It was an endocrine, autoimmune disorder. My body was attacking itself.

Goody. (more…)

Showers and Sprinkles

August 28, 2011

My girlfriend is expecting a Little Miss this Halloween. Yesterday was her baby shower. It was a pink explosion. Hot pink tablecloths, pale pink frosted cookies, tutus surrounding the perimeter and princess wands for the expected princess.

In our group of friends, the scales of the next generation tilt heavily toward cooler hues of blue on the rainbow spectrum. (more…)

The New Normal

April 13, 2011

(This post is the latest in the recent series, “Down the rabbit hole: What the hell happened this past year.”)

Last year, on April 13, I posted the following on my fledging StreamDoubleTrouble blog.

I am normal! After what seemed like eons since our last visual visit with our little ones, Jon and I returned to the doctor’s today to see how the twins are faring…Our high-risk perinatologist, Dr. Crites, smiled at the four of us and proclaimed, “Congratulations. You are having a perfectly normal twin pregnancy. You are now RELEASED!”

I’m normal! I’m still paranoid, but we are no longer classified as high-risk. My next appointment is with my regular doctor – who serves the general population of pregnant people. (Although appointments every two weeks mean I’m still being monitored very closely. I bet it’s “normal monitoring.”)

Go ahead. I’ll wait. When you’re done laughing uproariously at the absurdity of my bravado in announcing such a silly thing, and shaking your head at the now well-chronicled reality of the situation, the rest of this post awaits you.

(more…)

Blue Clues

May 27, 2010

By popular demand, below are the clues to deciphering the long awaited, much anticipated and oft debated naming of the twins. Who knew that this would become such a popular guessing game – from the center of elementary school gossip in the grass seed capitol of the world (Albany, Ore.) to the topic of conversation among the ladies in Camarillo, Calif. (more…)

Who’s On First?

"Game Called Because of Rain" by Norman Rockwell

Winding down week two of captivity. There are 36 ceiling tiles above me. Seven of them have accoutrements such as lights, sprinklers or fans installed. Sleep deprivation continues, with the hospital staff not allowing more than two and a half hours of sleep at a time. I am convinced the-powers-that-be secretly turn the heat up at night to assist in the baby cooking process. Why yes, in answer to your question, I am indeed going stir crazy. (more…)

PITA

May 25, 2010

PITA – acronym: “Pain in the [tushy]” (Insert appropriate synonym for tushy as appropriate.)

I have always been a cool, calm, rational and logical individual. I have never had a freak out over a simple matter or let a situation get to me. (Okay, friends and family reading this – once you have picked yourself up off the floor and recovered from hysterical laughter and finished rolling your eyes, please know the above statements are meant to be tougue-in-cheek.)

But last night, I panicked (although, I actually did behave calmly and rationally – who knew, pregnancy hormones really do change your demeanor…) (more…)

Parental Practice

May 21, 2010

Consciousness – also known as that annoying time between naps. I’ve received a lot of advice on arriving babies. One of the big tips – get some rest now, because you’ll never sleep once the kiddos arrive. So apologies for the lengthy duration between posts, I’m constantly trying to nap.

Sadly, I’m beginning to suspect that the hospital has a policy against letting patients sleep. I know I’ve previously posted a bit about this via the beeping machines. But now I’m here for the long haul; I’m confined to baby jail until the boys make their grand debut. (more…)