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Big Boy Beds

Yesterday morning, when we went to raise our little apocalyptic horsemen from their angelic slumber, we discovered Destroy perfecting his pommel horse routine upon the railing of his crib.

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Muppet Mousetrap

It started out with the belief that silence was scary. This was before my sons could talk.

Inevitably, the room falls silent as the clattering of toys and chattering of toddlers ceases. The hush of doom blankets the room in a thick embrace – just long enough for a parent to run screeching toward the room containing a ticking time bomb. Suddenly a large CRASH/BANG breaks the silent tension. Followed quickly by a combination of maniacal laughter and banshee screams.

It never ends well. Continue reading


Anatomy of a Toddler Temper Tantrum

“Doggie eats poop,” announced a very awake muppet. This was going to be a long night.

After two hours of chasing tail (haha), summersaults and “Hey Mommy! Watch This!” the witching hour grew nigh.


Destroy was displeased with this development. Continue reading


Welcome Home. We Pooped.

Last night was the end of my New York Adventure. (More about that later.) I got back to my room at 9:30 and decided I was exhausted and done. Shortly thereafter I found myself at the hotel bar getting to know some seriously awesome fellow bloggers late into the night.

This morning I awoke FAR too early so I could catch a flight back to the Golden State and reality. The sunrise greeted me with several new tweets from my new friends. Continue reading


The Solicitor

It wasn’t the poor guy’s fault. He was just trying to do whatever summer job he’d been suckered into – rumor has it high school type kids are running low on options these days.

The doorbell rang at about 6:30, the typical delivery hour for our particular UPS route (with the driver who I’m pretty sure thinks we’re running some sort of scam out of our house due to the never-ending stream of boxes). It wasn’t the latest supply of Pampers Cruisers (now in Size 5!) Continue reading


One Fine Day

Yesterday was an uneventful day. There were no major mishaps, no side-splitting peals of laughter, no ear-splitting major muppet meltdowns. There were no earth-shattering revelations or once in a lifetime experiences.

It was a typical day. And our family lived our lives.

In What Alice Forgot, she forgot a decade of her life. If that were to ever happen to me – these are the moments I’d miss most. Life simply happening. Continue reading


Found Nemo


Have you heard the news? Thirteen years after the original won an Academy Award for Best Animated Picture, the sequel to Finding Nemo is hitting the big screens (due out 2016).

Given the theatrics of the 2003 elementary age clownfish, one can only assume poor Marlon has one hell of a rebellious teenage fish. Or maybe Nemo is now a father of his own accord and karma is rearing its ugly head. “Come find me now, funny fish!” Continue reading

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Mother of all Tantrums

@HonestToddler: Pre-bedtime hysterics! Amiright? Going out in a blaze of cray cray!

I am aware I was not the most subdued of children. I’ve offered to let my mom take to these here interwebs to provide her memoirs on my adventurous toddler years. She politely demurred. Noting that nothing good could come of that little endeavor. (So that gives you a brief idea.) Continue reading


Littering and… Littering and…

I’ve known for weeks now I was slated to be today’s featured writer on Studio30 Plus (an awesome social media site for writers – go check it out.)

“Would you like to be our featured writer on July 2?”

Absolutely! Of course! What an honor! I can’t wait to get my work out there for more to see! Networking! Community! Pretend I’m a real writer! Also, this will be a fantabulous excuse to procrastinate writing the next chapter of my book.

Wait. Now I have to write something. Continue reading

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Toddler Speak

Mahi Mahi was on the menu for dinner tonight. Both muppets chowed down in a serious teenage-boy-in-training fashion, while Finding Nemo played in the background.


(Yes, I fed my children fish while their anthropomorphized dinner just kept swimming on the screen. I know. Mother. Of. The. Year.)

It’s crazy how big they are now. They’re like real little people. It’s just completely… Continue reading