Category Archives: Home

Zombie Apocalypse (aka Daylight Saving)

Dead Hand copy

How do you explain Daylight Saving to a toddler?

Well honey, I know the sun is still shining bright outside. But it really is time for bed – so I can wake you up far too early tomorrow morning. Because *most* of our country decides to change things up twice a year. Yes, you still have to go to bed now. Yes, that is a tiger on the wall. RAWR to you too.

In short – you don’t. Continue reading


How To Train Your Dragon


“How to Train Your Dragon: Reinterpreted by Search and Destroy in a photojournalistic essay on this fine sunny Sunday – as MLB Spring Training ’13 and the World Baseball Classic play in the background. Continue reading


Sacrifice to the Potty Gods

The boys want nothing to do with the potty. Rather they seem to be quite enamored with going through 3,000 diapers per year.

So we ordered books. (Because heretoforth those “What To Expect” how-to guides have always served us so well…) Continue reading


How to Put a Toddler to Bed

Sleeping Babe

Fairy tales will have you believe that adroit parents simply put their offspring to bed and retire to enjoy the peace and quiet of adult time.

The plan:

  1. Carry sweet child upstairs.
  2. Tuck them into bed. Read educational storybook.
  3. Kiss cherubic chubby cheeks.
  4. Close door gently. Return an hour later to simply stare at angelic perfection.

HOGWASH! Continue reading


Shovels and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails


While much of the country has been digging out from beneath Nemo, the frigid sub-70 degree freeze over Northern California finally lifted.

So we headed outdoors to get our hands dirty. (Because you need to give toddlers an excuse for that…) Continue reading


Easy as A,B,C, 1,2, Poop

Real Shit

So…this was my night. How was yours? Continue reading


Go Clean Your Room (or why am I frantically tidying the house before a playdate)

Living Room

Did you all have a nice weekend? We had a Superbowl Party. I won’t lie. It did turn in to a bit of a Bacchanalian fracas.

It was supposed to be a nice chill, laid back afternoon. Jon invited a couple friends over; I did the same. Jon set about preparing mozzarella meatball sliders, I focused on the important course of the meal – carrot cake and peanut butter brownies. It was a gluten-free bonanza, yo! (Lookitmee, all domestic-like.) Continue reading


No Naptime (Or When Toddlers Try Shock Their Parents Via an Exposed Electrical Socket – Literally)

We had a wonderful weekend morning – an early awakening, Eggos and eggs for breakfast, and then we set out for Stan’s Donuts and pumpkin carving kits. (We do try hard to portray the image of picture perfect suburban bliss. Conscious attempts at this illusion result in blog posts.)

When 12:30 rolled around, we headed upstairs – muppets not terribly thrilled with the idea of naptime and mommy and daddy REALLY praying for above-par powers of persuasion. Turns out, they suck. Continue reading


Pig Pen and the Flying Leap

Felix Baumgartner leapt from space today. Destroy was impressed. Grandpa texted, “We’d love to have you and the boys come over to pick pumpkins.” These events are related.

Aww…we’d love to! I was impressed that they’d successfully cultivated pumpkins in their backyard. I had visions of my little muppets hugging tiny pumpkins in a sweet family Kodak moment. Then I remembered I have little boys. And for one to have a garden, there must be a plethora of dirt. Continue reading


The Naptime Rebellion

Destroy was determined to be one of the ringleaders in the (now-quelled) preschool nap rebellion. (I maintain this shows fabulous leadership potential.) Our hero was spirited off to the Chateau D’If to serve out his sentence. (Ok fine, he got moved to another classroom where there were less small people to incite.)

So coincidence or no that this was also the first week the little men transitioned to Big Boy beds? You decide.

Today was the first Big Boy bed nap attempt. Ladies and gentlemen – the sheen is far dulled during daylight hours. Continue reading