California needs rain. And I know the upcoming drought is going to be bad. But oh how Iâ€™ve been enjoying the mid-winter sunshine. (Sorry to gloat polar vortex people, weâ€™ll be paying for it soon enough.)
I never thought Iâ€™d find myself wishing for soggy weather â€“ but we could really use a good El Nino in these upcoming months. Because I use a lot of water. A lot.
â€œHowâ€™s the potty training going?â€ you may ask. Poorly. It is going poorly.
In a performance parallel to yesterdayâ€™s Super Bowl, here at the Stream homestead there was another bowl battle in play.
Soiled articles of clothing: 43
Clean clothes at end of day: 8
A statewide drought in the midst of the parenting failure that is potty training will only result in a very very large utility bill.
The washing machine runs on a continuous cycle. And donâ€™t lecture me on full loads; weâ€™re not one-off washing a single pair of this weeks favorite pajama pants. (Iâ€™ll spare you the details.) Suffice it to say even when a muppet makes it to the hallowed household room of potty requirement, the field goal attempt rarely makes it through the goal posts.
The washing machine is already starting to protest. Weâ€™ve even had a couple escape attempts â€“ as it shudders violently and espouses its displeasure via a disconnected hose flooding the garage.
Meanwhile, back inside, weâ€™re still going through water like a category 5 river rapid.
My little men may not yet understand the fine art of going potty. But they have mastered the hypnotic value that is flushing. And they are quickly gaining expertise in re-creating the garage floods by depositing an enthusiastic amount of toilet paper (unused), wipes (non-flushable) and household items (like my keys) into the toilet.
Of course, we also have a nightly scuba/swim lesson known as bath time. Search and Destroy play hard and they wear the dirt to prove it. Sometimes weâ€™re even able to wash that first layer of dirt off of them before the bathmat and my pants float directly off to the washing machine on the current of bath water dispelled from the tub.
And lest we forget another unsung modern day hero â€“ the dishwasher. You may have picked up on this by their names, Destroy doesnâ€™t still. Ever. So thereâ€™s often an abundance of milk, sauce and other stickiness coating our table and chairs (also occasionally plates and silverware by association). And wine and whiskey glasses need to be washed so as to not distort future flavors.
I think weâ€™re also supposed to drink water.
In any case, clearly I need a vacation to the beach. (It can rain here for days on end while Iâ€™m gone.)