The lady stared at the side-by-side double stroller for a good 30 seconds, making silly faces at the muppets. Suddenly she looked up. “You have two!” she exclaimed. Congratulations stranger lady, you can count. She resumed cooing. “Boy and a girl?” she asked casually.
Elementary mathematical skills notwithstanding, I was a little dumbfounded. Does one of my kids look like a girl? I mean, they both have fabulous eyelashes most women would kill for. And somehow, to the complete befuddlement of our family, Destroy has a head of out-of-control wavy curls. If one disregards the blue sports shirts as nothing more than a needlessly stereotypical genderized designation, maybe one of the muppets could pass for a girl.
(But given the shock at discovering two children when oohing and awing at twin brothers in a two-seater stroller leads me toward the conclusion that the stranger lady was a little wackadoo.)
Nevertheless, we decided summer was the perfect time to tame the muppets hair. I admit – I was a little nervous about screwing this one up.
The muppets were born with a full head of downy-soft fuzzy black hair. But due to their early arrival, this soon receded into preemie pattern baldness (think male pattern baldness on tiny babies), which lasted for months. I soon learned that the most handsome men in the world were short and bald – with an eerie resemblance to the grouchy muppets who complain from the balcony.
As they outgrew any potential complications of prematurity, their hair started to grow. About a month ago, I decided to try and trim Search’s hair. One snip of the scissors and a prominent bald spot appeared back and center of my little guy’s head.
I quickly concluded haircuts are best left to professionals.
This week, Jon suggested that we should give them a summer buzz cut using a set of clippers. This seemed like a good idea. I held the muppet while Dad buzzed their cute little heads to a 3/8-inch level-3 cut.
Our resident paternal barber actually did a really great job. Admittedly, the styles may not be precisely symmetrical, but there are certainly no glaring errors. They most definitely look like little boys now (not that this will deter the gender neutral ideal of people like stranger lady).
The most striking effect?
My babies now look like little boys…