A Shot in the Dark

Today the muppets had their four-month check-up. I can’t believe it either. (Technically, they have another week before they’re actually four months, but it’s close enough to ooh and aww.)

I arrived shortly after Jon and the boys – just in time for the fun stuff. The muppets slope on the official pediatric growth chart is practically vertical. They’re even almost on the chart! Destroy is only a pound below the first percentile for weight.

So without further ado, <drum roll please> the official weigh-in comes in at:

Search
9 lbs, 2 oz
20.25 inches
15 inch head circumference

Destroy
10 lbs, 8 oz
20 inches
14.75 inch head circumference

Search’s got his brother beat on height/length and head circumference. But he still looks tiny next to Destroy. Destroy continues to live up to his nickname – Pudge.

In a much less exciting turn of events, following the statistical recording of vital signs, we rolled over to the pediatric injection clinic. The muppets were due for their next round of vaccinations. We waited in the small lobby area, watching four toddlers play – obviously unaware of what they were in for.

When it was the muppets turn, Search went first. He sat on Jon’s lap in the cramped exam room. The nurse didn’t waste any time – I guess it’s like ripping off the band-aid. Search got the first of three shots in his leg. It took him by surprise. His eyes widened in a brief moment of silence. Then he let out a heartbreaking wail. His little face turned cherry red as tears streamed down his pouting chipmunk cheeks. Even Jon and I had to turn away for the second two shots.

I got to hold Destroy. Now, to be fair, Destroy has a lot more padding on his tubby little thighs. Of course Destroy screamed as well. But his screams were far less panicked. Rather, he merely sounded hungry.

And the difference in those screams explains the reason for the large discrepancy in weight. At first, I thought it was just easier to identify the various needs expressed by Search’s distinct cries; perhaps Destroy was a bit more nuanced. Nope. I’m pretty sure they really are all hunger cries.

With his fondness for food and generally hungry demeanor, I’ve come to the conclusion that Destroy feels all that ails the world can be solved with a snack. Crisis in the Middle East? Sit them down for a glass of warm milk and a cuddle. Problem solved.