Some comments are cute when spoken about your cherubic little toddler, yet not so funny when you hear the same utterance regarding your now grown up fun-loving frat boy.
1. â€œHoney, time to put your pants back on. Your momâ€™s here.â€
Good idea: Having your diaper changed before getting picked up from daycare.
Bad idea: Fooling around with the cute girl down the hall on parents weekend.
2. â€œNo sweetie. You canâ€™t touch the other ladiesâ€™ boobs.â€
Good idea: Growing up big and strong because youâ€™re such a healthy eater.
Bad idea: Getting to make one phone call because you couldnâ€™t resist.
3. â€œWhat are you doing up at this hour?â€
Good idea: Waking up after a dream because your imagination has begun to blossom and youâ€™ve figured how to reason that there is all kinds of amazing-ness in the real world.
Bad idea: Perusing the town with your red solo cup on a Wednesday night because your houseâ€™s kegerator is empty.
4. â€œWe do NOT pee on police vehicles in this household.â€
Good idea: Learning enough manual dexterity to remove your diaper at the same time youâ€™re overcome with excitement about your new Little Tykes police motorcycle.
Bad idea: Marking the local PDâ€™s patrol car to prove the point that you have not been partying too hard.
5. â€œStop coloring on your brother. And no, do not eat the crayons.â€
Good idea: Coloring inside the lines â€“ or even outside â€“ as you explore fine motor skill development.
Bad idea: Being the first to fall asleep at the frat house.
6. â€œOh my goodness! Did you eat all of that by yourself?â€
Good idea: Eating everything on your plate.
Bad idea: Eating everything in the house.
7. â€œIndoor voices. Please stop yelling.â€
Good idea: Shouting every newly discovered vocabulary word for the world to hear.
Bad idea: Trying to top the song on the radio with the lyrics you think are right, but are way better if theyâ€™re not.
8. â€œMommmeeeeeeâ€¦I donâ€™t feel goodâ€¦â€
Good idea: Cuddling when youâ€™re sick because that rocking chair makes everything better.
Bad idea: Trying to convince your mom you have bubonic plague the day after the kegger, but the day before the 20-page term paper is due.
9. â€œIs that stain poop or puke?â€
Good idea: Always having a change of clothes becauseâ€¦stuff happens.
Bad idea: Always having a change of clothes becauseâ€¦stuff happens.
10. â€œBiting is not nice.â€
Good idea: Chewing big boy food with your new teeth and using your words to express frustration.
Bad idea: Well, on second thought, I guess that depends what sheâ€™s into.