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A Short Story – The California Drought, Day 1,643

July 28, 2015

IMG_3103

Once lush green stalks of tall grass glowed an angry red, as though they had been sunburned instead of merely water deprived.

I always presumed I would see plumes of yellow during the deep dog-days of summer, as the plants prepared for winter and reminded me to take hay fever medication. It was, after all, almost August. Instead the bleached tips of overgrown weeds in the expansive field waved a white flag of surrender as though mocking America the Beautiful’s sweet-smelling waving wheat. (more…)

The Saga of Destroy and the Goose

July 20, 2015
Do not be fooled.

Do not be fooled.

Let’s get the preliminaries out of the way: geese are assholes.

Yesterday I posted a picture (see above) of the moment just before Destroy got bit by brethren of the aforementioned foul fowl. Here’s the full story. (more…)

Octopus Crime

July 7, 2015

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Nana brought a bunch of vintage Transformer toys over. (Toys really were cooler when we were kids.)

In any case, Search and Destroy both have full-blown Transformer fever. The symptoms of which are best represented by constant bickering over which is deemed “the coolest toy” of the moment. (more…)

Odds Are

June 30, 2015

Bill

Struck by lightning, sounds pretty frightening
But you know the chances are so small
Stuck by a bee sting, nothing but a B-thing
Better chance you’re gonna bite it at the mall
But it’s a twenty-three four-to-one
That you can fall in love by the end of this song
So get up, get up
Tell the bookie put a bet on “not a damn thing will go wrong”

If we put the odds of dying from any and all possible causes at a 1:1 ratio – because let’s face it, life is fleeting and all our candles will snuffed out in the blink of an eye in terms of time on this teacup ride – odds are we’re gonna be alright for another night. (more…)

Best Day Of My Life (Chorus Remix)

June 25, 2015

This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-ife
Oo-o-o-o-oo
This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-ife

I’m never gonna look back
Whoa, I’m never gonna give it up
No, please don’t wake me now

The iPad is NOT a Chew Toy

June 23, 2015
Bad dog.

Bad dog.

The sun was just about ready to set as the hours rolled on – drawing the summer solstice to a close. Inside the house, muppets were restless in their beds as the night was not yet dark despite the passing of bedtime.

I stared out at the clouds from my office window. I watched the weekend slip away and told myself it would be a good idea to get ready for the week ahead. (more…)

An Open Letter to My Sons on Their Fifth Birthday

May 28, 2015

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Five has always been my lucky number.

So 5-years-old was the age I dreamt about during the early days of our adventure. Especially since the neurological studies kept reminding me that 90 percent of a child’s brain develops throughout the first five years of life. (more…)

Turning 5: Danger Zone

May 26, 2015
Revvin' up your engine Listen to her howlin' roar Metal under tension Beggin' you to touch and go

Revvin’ up your engine
Listen to her howlin’ roar
Metal under tension
Beggin’ you to touch and go

Memorial Day weekend is once again upon us. And as we have for the past four years, it was time to celebrate the unexpected arrival of Search and Destroy.

Wait, what? “Past four years,” you ask? Yes. That first year wasn’t so much a party as a, “Oh shit, what now?” All following years were celebrated because “Oh shit! We made it!” (more…)