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Best Day Of My Life (Chorus Remix)

June 25, 2015

This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-ife
This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-ife

I’m never gonna look back
Whoa, I’m never gonna give it up
No, please don’t wake me now

The iPad is NOT a Chew Toy

June 23, 2015
Bad dog.

Bad dog.

The sun was just about ready to set as the hours rolled on – drawing the summer solstice to a close. Inside the house, muppets were restless in their beds as the night was not yet dark despite the passing of bedtime.

I stared out at the clouds from my office window. I watched the weekend slip away and told myself it would be a good idea to get ready for the week ahead.

Monday loomed.

On a whim, I reached up to plug in my iPad. I don’t usually bother charging it at home since I use it as a second (ok, fine – third) monitor in the office. The weightlessness of the silver neoprene sleeve practically flew out of my hands. There was a definite three quarters of a pound missing. Also a whole lot of data.

No matter. I moseyed out to the living room. I must have left my fruity device on the end table next to the couch. After all, I do spend a lot of time perusing the web, playing games, and reading, while life is lived in the eponymously named room.


Well, I am getting old. Maybe memory doesn’t serve as well. (I’ve been told one’s ability to multi-task ebbs around age 23). It must be bedside. Because how can one sleep without a bit of media browsing. I traipsed back to the bedroom.


Hmm. I returned to the point of origin. But the office was definitely iPad free. iPhone(s), yes. Mac(s), yes. iPad, no.

After circling the house three times, each time expanding the perimeter a bit farther – out to the kitchen, dining room, guest rooms and even the bathroom.


Logic told me I really should go to bed and find it tomorrow. I knew it was somewhere in the house. But as is wont to happen on a Sunday night, my brain decided sleep was no where in our near future.

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn.

I loaded up the Find My iPhone app on my phone. “Find Devices” and I clicked on iPad. Immediately I was vindicated as the little green dot lit up on my home address; it had last updated 30 seconds ago.

I really should just go to bed.

Instead I pressed the “send a sound to my iPad” option. And then I pressed it again. And again. And again.

I heard no sound.

I wandered around the house wielding my phone like an auditory metal detector.

Finally, I heard the faintest beep while standing in my bedroom. It sounded like it was coming from across the house. I retraced my steps. But I couldn’t hear it in the living room. I swear it sounded like it was beeping from across the sliding doors.


I opened the bedroom slider. A gust of still warm 70-degree night air hit me. And so did a distinct beep.

There, in the dog’s favorite pillaging pile, was an orange plastic cup and my iPad.


The damn dog had absconded with my iDevice.

I picked it up and wiped a significant amount of drool off the cover, wondering if the rice trick worked for slobber as well as more purified water-logged issues. Sending up a prayer to the great Steve Jobs in the sky, I peeled back the newly customized dog-tooth-design cover.

It blinked to life.

Eight hours later I heard the sprinklers stutter to life for their weekly five-minute misting of our now yellowed drought-defeated grass.

I rolled over and snuggled up to my fully charged iPad mini. It was saved by the bell.

I’m still mad at the dog.

An Open Letter to My Sons on Their Fifth Birthday

May 28, 2015


Five has always been my lucky number.

So 5-years-old was the age I dreamt about during the early days of our adventure. Especially since the neurological studies kept reminding me that 90 percent of a child’s brain develops throughout the first five years of life. (more…)

Turning 5: Danger Zone

May 26, 2015
Revvin' up your engine Listen to her howlin' roar Metal under tension Beggin' you to touch and go

Revvin’ up your engine
Listen to her howlin’ roar
Metal under tension
Beggin’ you to touch and go

Memorial Day weekend is once again upon us. And as we have for the past four years, it was time to celebrate the unexpected arrival of Search and Destroy.

Wait, what? “Past four years,” you ask? Yes. That first year wasn’t so much a party as a, “Oh shit, what now?” All following years were celebrated because “Oh shit! We made it!” (more…)

Stranger Danger at the Mall

May 13, 2015

Suspicious Dog

Last night I went to dinner with a friend from out of town. (It was Clinton Fitch, aka my TechMom Tuesday editor. This is not entirely relevant to the story, but an excellent opportunity for a plug that I shan’t hesitate to take.)

We discussed mobile trends and the directions of varying operating systems well past sunset. (Surprise! I am actually TechMom in real life too.) At about a quarter to nine, we bid one another adieu – Clinton headed off to retrieve his rental from somewhere in the nearby parking garage, while I headed clear across the mall’s acreage to where I’d found an open spot to park my car, Zippy, hours before when the mall was still open and abuzz with retail patrons. (more…)

A Little Bit Rock-n-Roll

May 11, 2015


“Mommy, I need the music.” It’s a refrain that’s part of our daily routine now. We get in the car, the radio magically bursts into commercial, and Destroy demands music. The moment a song begins playing, Destroy starts in with the questions: “What song is this?” “Who’s singing?” “What’s the band?” “What’s the singers name?”

(FYI – Shout out to Siri here for keeping me in the know, thereby preserving my status as mom with all the answers. Simply press button, ask, “Siri, what song is this?” and point phone.) (more…)

When There is Nothing Left to Give

May 6, 2015


Last night I read the book, “The Giving Tree,” before tucking the muppets in for the night. It’s a book I remember from my childhood, as it has been a staple for generations.

As I closed the door to their room, I was overcome with nostalgia for reading comprehension. Don’t we all remember the days of an English professor requesting a 10-page paper on the subtext of what the author really meant. You’d spend days thinking, it’s about a tree. Maybe the author wanted the audience to understand IT’S ABOUT A TREE. (more…)