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Running the Bases

May 4, 2015

Baseball Diamond

Base path: the area between two bases on a baseball field where a player must remain while running from one base to the other. It differs throughout each developmental stage, though. (more…)

Battle with the Backstop

April 30, 2015

Backstop Baseball

T-ball is far more dangerous than I initially anticipated. Surprisingly, this has nothing to do with balls or bats. I presume those dangers come into play once the wee ones graduate into actual baseball.

T-ball practice is on Wednesday night. At this age, practice is still exciting because they’re still not entirely certain what game they’re playing. Also, they get to wear their uniforms whether it’s practice or a game. Bonus. (more…)

The Doppelganger

April 27, 2015

IMG_2108

There is a boy next door the boys have befriended. I was thrilled to find a family lived close to us, as I think it’s an important rite of childhood to run amok with the local youth of the neighborhood.

Both boys were eager for their first play date. “Can we go play with Pacman now?” This was only exacerbated by Pacman’s propensity to roll up to the edge of our driveway on his PowerWheel motorcycle and honk his horn. (more…)

Pre-K Fashion Show

April 24, 2015

Pre-K Fashion Day has arrived, and to break down the best of the best, Stream of the Conscious is selecting the top 2 looks from the best Spring 2015 men’s collection. Consider it your definitive guide to the runway.

Five Years Gone By

April 22, 2015
Brothers_Career_04-21-15

In case there was any question they’re little fighters.

Tonight I was plunking away on a project for work. I was scrolling back and forth within a PowerPoint presentation looking for that magical light bulb moment when my brain decided to respond.

But instead of an ingenious idea guaranteed to garner a raise and promotion, instead the recesses of my mind decided it was time for a trip back down the rabbit hole. (more…)

Morning Routines

April 20, 2015
Caterpillar found coffee.

Caterpillar found coffee.

Weekday in. Weekday out. They all seem to start the same. In search of coffee and food.

 

Me

5 a.m. alarm. Nope, I’m hitting snooze; that 9 minutes will clearly make all the difference in the world.

Work out? Why am I doing this? Get it over with before body knows what you’re doing. Fantasize about still being in bed throughout entire routine. Haha. Just kidding. I went back to bed. I love sleep. There is never enough…

Shower, stare at closet for a while to pick out clothes. Wonder why no magical woodland creatures suddenly appear to dress me.

Turn on morning news. Check email. Respond to email. Grumble about adulthood.

Get dressed.

Wake up boys. Remind boys to wake up. Beg boys to wake up. Threaten to take boys to school in their pajamas.

Coffee. Lots of coffee.

Shoe children. Coerce them into the car. Open garage before backing out. Back out of driveway without driving over anything.

We are ready for the day to begin. Or at least awake enough to find more coffee.

 

Muppets

Search

Sound asleep. Snoring, arm hanging out of bed, stuffed elephant lovie flung over his face to block out the light.

“But I’m still tired…” Rolls over. Hides under covers.

Destroy

Melts out of bed toward bunk ladder. Stand up on top rung and hurls self off bunk bed onto beanbag chair below.

Screams, “Mommy! I can’t find any yellow fours!” (Referring to khaki pants that have mostly survived daily wear and tear.)

Search

Sitting naked on the floor of his room. Looks confused.

Destroy

Risky Business slides into the master bedroom, ready to watch morning cartoons.

Search

Appears in room wearing outfit that can only be described as an “artistic creation.” Apparently encouraging Mom to make a reminder to ask the pediatrician about color blindness. Fully aware parents will pick their battles – and stylistic design before morning coffee isn’t going to be mom’s Alamo stand.

Search and Destroy

Get herded out the door. Open garage. Get strapped into car seats. Wait for mom to buckle herself in. Announce you’re hungry and need a snack RIGHT NOW.

 

Dog

Oh my god. I’m hungry. They’re never going to feed me. I’M GOING TO DIE OF STARVATION. Charge them all. Run into walls. Spin in circles. Chase my tail. FEED ME!

We are ready to begin countdown to freaking out about when dinner will be served.

I think I’ll go back to bed now. It really is a dog’s life. And I’ll just find human food to eat after they all scurry off. Or really, anything I can reach on the counter.

Oooh, bubbles. Paper towels. Yum! Just need a good spatula to finish such a gourmet meal.

Feed me.

Feed me.

 

 

Breakdown of a T-ball Practice

April 13, 2015

Tball_Game 3_03-21-15_12

5:25
Curse at whoever came up with the terribad idea of parallel parking. Repeatedly thank deities it wasn’t required on the driving exam or you wouldn’t be able to drive tiny peoples to T-ball practice.

5:28
Encourage tiny peeps to RUN RUN RUN across the field to join their team for practice. But not through the middle of the big kids game in progress… (more…)

Live, Laugh, Survive

April 7, 2015

SMITH Final Book Cover

Laughter really is the best medicine. It’s no secret I’ve got my issues; and I’m here to make sure everyone out there, living in my computer world, knows they are not alone.

Sometimes something as simple as a smile can change someone’s day. So join me. Laugh at our misfortunes.

Today, Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor is available!

Seriously. Go buy it now. Yes, you – you are the target audience of this book, even if you’re rolling your eyes at me right now. Whether it’s you or someone you love, this anthology will allow you to see the humor behind the darkness.

**********

From the release:

Living with a mental illness is a journey that one in four Americans will travel at some point in their lifetimes. The stigma and misinformation surrounding the public perception of mental illness is appalling and unfounded. Those with symptoms fear judgment and being ostracized, leaving many to suffer in silence. Awareness and understanding are crucial in eradicating negative attitudes about those with mental illness. By creating an honest dialogue about the highs and lows of mental illness, the non-suffering public will gain a better understanding, and those suffering may be more likely to seek the support they need.

In discussing their own personal experiences with mental illness, popular bloggers and creators of the anthology Alyson Herzig and Jessica Azar envisioned a book that would squash stigma and support readers that are facing their illnesses alone, Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor was born. They gathered a group of talented humor writers who personally battle mental illness. The authors willingness to share their personal stories is inspiring, and shows that living with mental illness doesn’t have to equal a life of endless misery. While the lows of living with mental illness can be devastating, the disease doesn’t define the lives of these contributors. Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor contains essays that will make the reader’s heart ache, as well as ones that will make them cry with laughter. The groundbreaking anthology leads the mission to ‘laugh stigma into submission’ by inspiring attitudes of acceptance and compassion.

**********

I am proud to have my story featured among the talented writers comprising Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor. In addition to hopefully spreading empowerment to others who may suffer, every writer has agreed to donate a portion of his or her book earnings to charity.

It should come as no surprise that my organization of choice is the March of Dimes – in support of their quest to ensure the arrival of healthy babies. Nor should you feel any shock that the story I shared involved tiny persons (and the mooing of a cow).

Go check it out.

For more information on Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor, check out www.survivementalillness.com.

And thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share my story and for being the audience who loves me despite, or maybe because, I’m crazy.

alice-wonderland-cheshire-cat-smile-were-all-mad-here-eternalthinker-blogspot-com

Bath Time Bail Out

March 30, 2015
Forget it. I'm out.

Forget it. I’m out.

Boys at age 4 are wiggly. This makes some of our routines a bit of a gymnastics exercise.

Last night, the muppets splished and splashed their way through bath time. Once the bathroom was thoroughly flooded – meaning the balance of water was out of the tub rather than in – it was time for pajama wrestling. (more…)