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Have Blog. Will Post Cute Photos

September 19, 2014

Once upon a time, I thought this online web log space would be simply for sharing adorable photos of my children. So I’m going to take the opportunity to do so right now. Because I can.

BEHOLD THE ADORABLE! (more…)

The Great Comcast Saga

September 18, 2014

TechMom

I write a monthly column over at AlliOSNews. It’s a techie site – extolling all the goodies and gunpowder on the Apple OS. (SHINY TOY!) I’m TechMom. And these are my stories on how technology is really used. This is what you must deal with, as I am a Silicon Valley nerd by day.

I’m well aware it’s Thursday. TechMom Tuesday is typically published the first Tuesday of every month. This month it’s a wee bit late due to the Big Apple Announcement last week. Also, as you’ll see below, I’ve had some connectivity issues. I reserve the right to rant more or less as the technical goings-on, well…go on. (more…)

The NFL and Domestic Violence

September 15, 2014

Yahoo

We’ve long heard the arguments that our kids will be scarred and forever altered by violence in video games or movies, despite parents educating our impressionable youths that it’s merely make-believe.

So what do we say when it’s real-life role models (for better or worse) demonstrating violence?

Domestic violence attorney Nicki Ford is speaking out on the subject. She recently chatted with Yahoo Sports’ Eric Adelson about the NFL’s problems and she has graciously written the below. (more…)

Pre-K Problems

September 11, 2014

school_preschool

It’s rough out there for the preschool big kids. There’s a lot to live up to. But sometimes, there are problems only the pre-k’ers can truly understand. (more…)

Chivalry Isn’t Dead Yet

September 9, 2014

Chivalry

We’re living in a society of every man for himself. Articles across these here interwebs decry the decay of manners and etiquette. So it’s up to me to raise my muppets to one day serve as productive members of society.

Search and Destroy. Future gentlemen. (more…)

Search Engine Optimization and Search Term Algorithms

September 5, 2014

I write this blog about my once tiny twin boys. Who reads this blog, you ask?

Below are selected search terms that have led people to my site in search of…something.

  • street price for an ounce of smackaroo?
  • boobs stream
  • bloody birthday cake
  • is this “stream of consciousness” talking typical of 4-year-olds?
  • are we done here
  • boy bully poop
  • saving daylight zombie
  • lockdown lollipops
  • hide and seek, grown up style. wanting to hide needing to be sought
  • stream of consciousness ” on and on and on little boy name wilford
  • puking pirate
  • nicu sucks

Well, that last one makes all the sense in the world.

 

Fun with Fishing

September 4, 2014

Caden fishing

Search and Destroy received fishing rods for their birthday. So this past weekend, we headed to a local pond where a friend had assured us fish were practically leaping out of the water to eat bait.

“That was the thing about nature: make one lousy rule to describe it and it’ll contradict you even if it has to transmogrify and metamorphosize and bust its ass to do it.”
– The River Why, David James Duncan

Jon made a special trip across town to procure the desired “SureCatch” live bait. Morning came. Beneath the beaming sun’s rays, Jon loaded up two tiny rods, wriggling worms and his fishing kit comprising real fishermen type tools such as scissors, brightly colored feathers, and sharp pokey hooks. (I’m told they have other names.)

I wrangled muppets – highly energetic 4-year-olds with precisely zero interest in listening to adults and an equal amount of care for their own personal safety. (Because they think they’re indestructible.)

Jon had high hopes. The fishing spot was only 5 minutes from our house. A woman futzing in her yard called out to us, “There are a bunch of big ones out there just waiting for you!”

We arrived at the aqueduct and skittered down the steep slope to the shore’s edge. To clarify – Jon skittered, Destroy slip-n-slided alongside Dad, I cajoled Search to join our adventure, and Search (my very risk-aware son) considered all the things that could possibly go wrong and decided this was a terrible idea.

Boys Fishing

 

We were off to a great start!

Destroy: Can I throw rocks now?

Jon: Not yet. Let me bait and hook your rods. If you throw rocks, you’ll scare the fish. Don’t you want to catch any?

Destroy: <splash>

Search: Can I say hi to the worm?

Destroy: <splash>

Me: Ew, that’s trash someone left. Don’t touch that.

Jon: Watch out, I’m gonna cast. Now what do we watch for to see if we’ve caught a fish?

Destroy: A fish.

Jon: Watch your bobber. If it goes under, that means a fish is eating your worm.

Me: <ducks>

Jon: Keep your rod pointed straight. Don’t cross rods. Someone could get hurt.

Destroy: <splash>

Jon: You’re going to scare the fish.

Search: I’m going to see if I caught a fish.

Me: You probably didn’t. I’m pretty sure I’m a curse. There are never any fish when I’m here.

Jon: Stop reeling! Stop reeling!

Me: Drop that! Icky, that’s broken glass. Careful, that could cut you.

Jon: Rod straight, guys! That hook could hurt someone.

Search: Can I throw the hook into the water?

Destroy: I want to throw rocks now.

Jon: <sets up to cast> Ok, Search, let me show you how to cast out to the center of the water.

Destroy: <splash>

Me: We’re never going to catch a fish.

Jon: Look! Did you see that?! Guys, are you watching?! We got a bite!

Search: Why do worms live in the dirt.

Jon: You guys missed it because you weren’t paying attention.

Me: I don’t see a fish.

Jon: We didn’t land it. I think it was a Bluegill; I saw a school and Bass don’t swim in schools. So our hook’s probably too big. <reels> See – it ate half our worm.

Destroy: Mommy? I spilled.

Me: The worms are escaping!

Search: Here Mommy, I picked some up.

Me: Ack! I’m covered in worms! They’re so wriggly!

Jon: Do you see the fish right there? Guys, be still. Let’s see if he’ll take the worm.

Destroy: <splash>

Jon: This is going to be a short-lived experiment isn’t it?

Me: Fishing requires a lot of patience. Patience is not something your family possesses in mass abundance.

“Fisherman should be the easiest of men to convince to commence the search for the soul, because fishing is nothing but the pursuit of the elusive.”
– The River Why, David James Duncan

Overall, I’m going to consider the outing a success. No one fell in the lake.

Logan rocks

Pre-K (Chaos in the Classroom)

August 21, 2014

First Day

When I first dropped the muppets off in the toddler room of their preschool, Destroy still couldn’t walk. Search couldn’t (or more likely wouldn’t) talk. They’ve had three years of amazing teachers since. (And now they won’t sit still or shut up.)

Today I dropped them off for their first day of pre-K. (more…)

Care and Consideration of Loveies

August 18, 2014

Elle

“Elle is my friend,” is a common refrain heard around of my house.

Elle is an elephant – well, a stuffed elephant atop a soft grey baby blanket. She also goes by the name “Shaking Elle” due to the embedded rattle in her head. Basically she’s a newborn comfort blanket in animal form.

A well-loved lovey. (more…)