Reality of the Dreaded Elf on the Shelf

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Elf on the Shelf.

The phrase that strikes dread into the hearts of so many, while eliciting utter glee from others (of a much younger age). You know the type.

Regardless, this past decade transformed December into an elfin pictorial bonanza where we’re either bombarded by daily pics of insane creativity and waiflike mischief or pleas for a Facebook blocker. (The latter of which has become it’s own sport of griping.) Continue reading

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And What Would You Like For Christmas

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Santa: Have you been good boys this year?
Search: Well, um, I’d like to be on the Nice list, please.

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Lockdown Comprehension: A Review

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Scene: After school discussing the active shooter lockdown “Run, Hide and Defend Drill” at the elementary school. Continue reading

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Only Slightly Concussed, Again

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The phone rang.

I knew that number. It was the muppets’ elementary school. There was nothing good that could come of this in the middle of the day. Continue reading

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Prematurely Down the Rabbit Hole

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The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down what seemed to be a very deep well.

November is Prematurity Awareness Month. Because premature birth is the leading cause of newborn death worldwide. Continue reading

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Happy Halloween: Disguises through the years (2015 Edition)

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Another year, another adorable terrible twosome.

“Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.” And so, Autobots Optimus Prime and Bumblebee took to the streets of San Jose sending a message to all other transformers: They are here. They are waiting. And they want candy. Continue reading

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Uncle John’s Journey to Blue Jay

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California is renowned for its Indian Summers. As the season wanes, warm weather persists – perfect for an afternoon out on the lake with friends and family.

The Welker family spent many summers in Lake Gregory, a small town in the San Bernardino Mountains. Brothers occupied their time finding various ways to torture their sister, Winnie, and/or create other manners of mischief. (For Harry Potter fans, I have always envisioned older brothers Bill and Ray as the muggle version of Fred and George Weasely.)

Little Johnny Welker was the youngest of the bunch. Continue reading

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